Sunday, September 27, 2009

Fifth Grade

When I see myself,
the way I think I truly am,
I see pink barrettes
rabbit teeth
and crooked glasses.
On the cusp of adolescence –
just before I became my Mom’s
grammar police.
Awkward,
and already a “woman”
according to one standard of measure.
This is the person who
looks back when I stand
before the mirror.
I spent years with
disdain in my heart, but
today I am compassionate
toward that precious girl
who liked math instead of boys
and wanted to be left alone
with her books.

16 comments:

  1. She is a sweetie. I'm so glad you can still see her. :)

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  2. I see a pretty little girl just waiting to bloom. It seems to me that she blossomed into a wonderful woman. And I too have always liked math, it is a shame that everyone always thinks that math is just for boys. I was a tomboy, but as a teenager I learned to change and adapt to girlie things, as I guess we all do.

    Anyway I am so glad that you finally got rid of the sling and how are you doing with raising your arm above your shoulder? I am not sure which is the better way to go, to stay in the sling longer and not lift your arm up or to be like my doctor told me to do, get rid of the sling after a week and then two weeks later start PT and lifting your arm above the shoulder.

    All I know is that I am doing all of my exercises and yes I can move my shoulder pretty well, but I am in a lot of pain most all of the time. Sometimes I can be very still and not move which does let me have a few moments of being pain free, but for the most part I am doing okay. It is just that I cannot do so much and that is probably the hardest thing.

    Well except for cleaning the house, I can leave that alone and I do hope you have more lazy days of cleaning less. I am starting to use my left arm a little more when I drive. I just have to be very careful when making turns. So I do guess I am making some progress, but it is a very slow process and I need to learn to have more patience.

    I also wonder if you ever got my e-mail in answer to your question about you know what. If not please let me know, I have just discovered that my e-mail has a sent file and it keeps copies of things that I have sent for a few months, I think it is that long. But anyway, I think I still have the copy in there of what I wrote. Please let me know.

    Well I guess I better stop writing cause I am only good for one or two comments and on a rare occasion I have done three or four, but I still have not figured out why typing hurts, but I think it is because I cannot use my shoulders the way that you should when typing. I just keep praying.

    God bless.

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  3. I think that's good to make peace with the child you were. Growing up was a misery for me.

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  4. There is a picture of me when I was about 11 years old stnading on the deck of a beach resort with my hair flying in the wind and I'm looking square at the camera with a smile on my face. That is how I see myself..a bit wild and untamed. I think we carry that girl inside of us always, she may be covered over with the demands of life and responsibility but she is always there smiling away.

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  5. You were a lubbly bug then and an even lubblier bug now.

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  6. I like those upcurled mouth corners! You look like a girl I would have liked to be friends with! I never liked the girlie-girlie ones who tried to push themselves into the center of the boys` attention. Oh, and you could have taught me maths!
    I always like your comments on my blog, Blug, so even if we haven`t met in the old days, we can be friends now!!

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  7. I love this poem, Bug.

    I posted some time back on loving that 10 year old self of ours.

    http://willowmanor.blogspot.com/2009/04/theme-thursday-ten.html

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  8. The pink color of the dress,the honey hair, the angelic smile - cannot hide the look of a fuure 'mathemaician'.

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  9. 'future mathematician'.
    Sorry, I have problems with the 't' key on my typing device.

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  10. Awww...what a sweet and beautiful face!

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  11. It's hard to escape those inadequacies we all felt.

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  12. Thanks for your kind comments everyone. Sometime I'll post my 6th grade picture & you'll see the difference between unaware innocence & trying to be beautiful...

    Willow - love the pic of your 10 year old self! You were cute with your flip.

    Mrs. U I sent you an email about my travails...

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  13. This is beautiful! Oh you were totally adorable. Glad you've joined her fan club. She's great, then and now.

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  14. I was a similar little girl...long hair, buck teeth, glasses and, because of severe lung disease, unable to participate in recess or slumber parties or anything like that. When I started junior high, I cut my hair, got contacts and braces. I thought I looked so much better...until a boy who had known me from kindergarten said, "I liked you better the old way." Go figure, eh?

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