Well, considering my substantial back side perhaps my subconscious was referring to my natural insulation. Or maybe it was thinking of the way that I can turn off the world when I’m reading a good book.
Or…I have a terrible memory. If you’ve offended me I’m not likely to remember why for very long & I’ll even forget that I’m supposed to be mad at you after a while. In fact, I feel certain that I’ve already shared this trait (more than once), but I don’t remember.
And isn’t it nice to live in this nice cushioned room with unremembered grievances? I’m shielded from the distress of being hurt whenever I think about them. Because I don’t think about them.
Now this isn’t to say that I don’t have a list of things that go in Dr. M’s minus column*, but they’re amorphous. If I were asked to give a concrete example of an offense I would probably not be able to be that specific. In fact, I’m sitting here trying to even come up with a category (snoring? Falling asleep during a documentary now that I’m hooked on it so I have to stay up to watch it?) – I don’t really have anything. I’m not very good at keeping score.
And that’s where this turns into gratitude. Who needs to keep score anyway? Why can’t every day be a fresh start with a person, full of the possibility of lovingkindness? Forget yesterday – I certainly do. And I’ll just go ahead & issue a blanket apology right now to folks I may have offended – because you know I’m not going to remember doing it anyway!
*Dr. M’s pluses so vastly outweigh the minuses that I’m even embarrassed to use him as an example. Our marriage isn’t perfect, but my goodness do I get treated like a queen! I feel like the worst sort of heel whenever I complain. Although I am having to be responsible for dinner a lot lately. What’s up with that Mr. Works-More-Hours-Than-I-Do-Now?