tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686754906089902443.post5956715876302246719..comments2024-03-28T16:02:34.249-04:00Comments on Bug's Eye View: You've Been GoneThe Bughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07509037206264761261noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686754906089902443.post-68157676395842431682012-12-20T18:21:30.093-05:002012-12-20T18:21:30.093-05:00I like it, as is, with the lines scratched out...I like it, as is, with the lines scratched out...Tess Kincaidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04889725786678984293noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686754906089902443.post-70259393154217570502012-12-20T04:04:45.233-05:002012-12-20T04:04:45.233-05:00I love as is.
The scratched out stanza's add ...I love as is.<br /><br />The scratched out stanza's add dimension and leave the reader thinking of would could have been.<br /><br />Anna :o]hyperCRYPTICalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11967085628384237933noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686754906089902443.post-41472319723714739672012-12-19T17:20:29.209-05:002012-12-19T17:20:29.209-05:00Wish I could help. I'm lousy at this.Wish I could help. I'm lousy at this. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686754906089902443.post-54408670836128357612012-12-19T12:18:43.154-05:002012-12-19T12:18:43.154-05:00I am NO poet so will not contribute a new ending B...I am NO poet so will not contribute a new ending BUT...I love the idea of mooning over a guy! I like it A LOT. Jill from Killeny Glenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13639521470702814007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686754906089902443.post-19428530465254039742012-12-19T11:18:26.274-05:002012-12-19T11:18:26.274-05:00NCMW cracks me up!NCMW cracks me up!Rudeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17889298704039071473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686754906089902443.post-81786200874558100892012-12-19T04:51:16.022-05:002012-12-19T04:51:16.022-05:00I think I agree with Ellen, mine doesn't work ...I think I agree with Ellen, mine doesn't work that way, either, but I think you were on to a good idea here.Dave Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08430484174826768488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686754906089902443.post-77752528819507875132012-12-18T20:33:23.933-05:002012-12-18T20:33:23.933-05:00I'm so ambivalent! Loved it, anyway. Actually,...I'm so ambivalent! Loved it, anyway. Actually, I rather liked it with the crossed-out showing too.Titushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16380213493011623153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686754906089902443.post-66172357327847790112012-12-18T11:10:40.484-05:002012-12-18T11:10:40.484-05:00To end it sweetly...use the first strike through s...To end it sweetly...use the first strike through stanza....to end it with an edge....close the door and leave him standing there....alone.STILLMAGNOLIAhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07453175923858351452noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686754906089902443.post-91249382675973289332012-12-18T10:53:54.963-05:002012-12-18T10:53:54.963-05:00I'd end it with the first strike-through. A p...I'd end it with the first strike-through. A perfect poem.Berownehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09524661173663604641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686754906089902443.post-2991405922715019402012-12-18T09:56:21.709-05:002012-12-18T09:56:21.709-05:00I am with Gerry....that first stanza holds strong ...I am with Gerry....that first stanza holds strong all on its own! :-)Carrie Van Hornhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11715648073882529202noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686754906089902443.post-37671074660541039262012-12-18T08:20:06.632-05:002012-12-18T08:20:06.632-05:00dang....i like...the repetition before the scratch...dang....i like...the repetition before the scratch out lines is awesome...and the scratch out line....excellent....felt piece....Brian Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00722940075884718007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686754906089902443.post-57051312838481995392012-12-18T08:11:12.097-05:002012-12-18T08:11:12.097-05:00I like the poem with the lines drawn through the w...I like the poem with the lines drawn through the words. It gives the feeling of the speaker changing her mind when the person returns.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13318991328136593536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686754906089902443.post-10830400452522631802012-12-18T05:20:50.307-05:002012-12-18T05:20:50.307-05:00...or leave it with the strike throughs to show th......or leave it with the strike throughs to show the speaker's ambivalence. Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12003379181294550035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686754906089902443.post-70139365500352560222012-12-18T02:59:47.549-05:002012-12-18T02:59:47.549-05:00or Gloria Gaynor's way
Soooooooo now you'...or Gloria Gaynor's way<br /><br />Soooooooo now you're back, from outer space....Don't Feed The Pixieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05380146661526476947noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686754906089902443.post-86366220853373069392012-12-18T02:58:00.530-05:002012-12-18T02:58:00.530-05:00i guess the same way that ABBA ended it - i was si...i guess the same way that ABBA ended it - i was sick and tired of everything/when i saw you come back from Tesco<br /><br />I think the line might actually be "called you last night from Glasgow", but i prefer the aboveDon't Feed The Pixieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05380146661526476947noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686754906089902443.post-2199290588022161652012-12-17T22:00:44.655-05:002012-12-17T22:00:44.655-05:00Poetry is such a personal statement that I just wo...Poetry is such a personal statement that I just wouldn't feel right telling someone how to conclude one. stephen Hayeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17659054447637207734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686754906089902443.post-42409581978826626352012-12-17T18:35:03.041-05:002012-12-17T18:35:03.041-05:00I like it Caroline - excellent suggestion :)I like it Caroline - excellent suggestion :)The Bughttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07509037206264761261noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686754906089902443.post-85340669208877575852012-12-17T18:01:21.644-05:002012-12-17T18:01:21.644-05:00leave it as the first stanza....so atmospheric...g...leave it as the first stanza....so atmospheric...great!!!Gerry Snapehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07269492251928362799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686754906089902443.post-3065510382632069612012-12-17T17:59:05.492-05:002012-12-17T17:59:05.492-05:00Ha. I have no idea. My brain doesn't work th...Ha. I have no idea. My brain doesn't work that way.ellen abbotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00535475792150335186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2686754906089902443.post-6544683403453919562012-12-17T17:04:14.873-05:002012-12-17T17:04:14.873-05:00I would eliminate the stanza beginning "and I...I would eliminate the stanza beginning "and I felt". In the next stanza I would delete "welcome back" and substitute "go to Hell" followed by the last stanza.<br /><br />A couple of facts: 1) I am not a poet; and 2) I am quite a cynic today. And I love your poetry.NCmountainwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00615765649828716560noreply@blogger.com