Thursday, September 17, 2009

Socks

So many of my blog friends have introspective, thoughtful posts today. Exploring their inner & outer worlds in new ways. Challenging us to follow them into the depths. (Well, maybe not Big Mama). But I’m here today to talk about socks. And the trauma of growing up with my father.

During my morning routine these days I always eat two peanut butter crackers (the ones with orange crackers – nabs, if you will) so that my stomach isn’t empty when I take my 27 ibuprofen. Well, really it’s just 4, but it feels like that many! Yes, it might make sense to just go ahead & eat breakfast. Ha! Those of you who think that don’t know me very well – I’ve got my routine precisely timed & there is no breakfast allotted. I eat breakfast at my desk at work. I’ve tried to be a morning person, but at this late date it’s not going to happen.

I take the ibuprofen as soon as I can upon waking not because of my shoulder (although it helps) or because of the arthritis in my hip, but because of my cracked tailbone. Makes the 45 minute morning commute SO much more comfortable.

Anyway (I am getting to the point!), this morning I did my little routine. Eat one cracker while dressing, take two ibuprofen. Eat a second cracker, take another ibuprofen. Then I put a sock on, paused (for perhaps as long as an entire minute!) & took the last ibuprofen. Yes, that was one sock. The other foot was just dangling out there all cold, waiting for its own sock. I can hardly bear the asymmetry. One warm foot, one cold foot. At the time I was proud that I wasn’t whimpering. I’m shuddering just remembering it now. Yikes!

And this is where my father comes in. He with his two socks on each foot, taunting me while he talked about how HOT his feet were as he took the socks off slowly. And then just STOPPING while there was still a sock on one of his feet. DADDY TAKE YOUR SOCK OFF!!! I was traumatized. He did this to me a lot while I was growing up. And maybe last Christmas. You just can’t escape some childhood terrors. We won’t even talk about the tickle monster. (Yes Daddy, I'm holding my arms TIGHT at my sides even now thinking about that).

And now, I’m going to spend some time studiously ignoring the fact that one arm is encased in a cloth sling while the other arm is free as a bird in short sleeves. How many of you have the same pathological (not the technical use of the word) need for the temperature of all your body parts to match?

This post was inspired by Linda at 2nd Cup of Coffee. You can read about her horrible asymmetrical foot experience here.

Happy Birthday Daddy!

8 comments:

  1. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DANABUG'S DADDY!!

    (I love daddys, aren't daddy's AWESOME??!!!)

    ReplyDelete
  2. One of the reasons I don't much care for winter...arm pits sweating, feet and hands cold.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I don't have that need, The Bug, but I was laughing merrily at the thought of your dad taunting you with sock, and tickle monsters!

    What's that old Amish saying? "All the world's a little bit queer, but me and thee, and sometimes I worry about thee." ;-)

    We all have some oddity, don't we? I

    Happy Birthday to you dad, tormentor and all! I hope you heal quickly, and that soon the Ibuprofen routine will be a distant memory.

    ReplyDelete
  4. It's not the temperature part so much that would bother me, just having one foot bare while the other is covered, for that long.

    Do you ever pull your socks half off? Sometimes my feet get hot, but not quite hot enough to be sockless, so I just wear them on my toes while I'm sitting.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I like your abiliy to have a laugh at your pains, your medicines, assymmetry.
    Happy Birthday to your dad! You love him despite the socks trauma.

    ReplyDelete
  6. There's an old nursery rhyme:

    Diddle, diddle, dumpling, my son John,
    Went to bed with his trousers on.
    One sock off, and one sock on,
    Diddle, diddle, dumpling, my son John.

    Good job your name's not John.

    Hope you soon get off of those painkillers. My wife takes these things for her hip problems, morning and last thing at night. I get her a glass of milk and two cream crackers. (Never know why they are called that, unless it's the colour of them).

    I am her sock putter-onner and sock taker-offer. Also her foot massager and general factotum, poor soul. She's had a rough couple of years and she misses our dance evenings now.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I dislike asymetry also. If my body is not properly temperature matched, I sneeze and sneeze. A schoolfriend of mine had an aversion to things being single. If she dropped a peanut on the floor, for example, she had to drop another one down there "to keep it company". There's another saying: there's nowt as queer as folk. ("nowt" is a northern word for nothing)

    ReplyDelete
  8. You know, until you asked the question, I don't think this is a subject I have ever considered before.

    Have I ever spent a protracted period of time with one sock off and one on?

    Obviously, of his many problems, this was not one that Michael (one glove) Jackson ever had. But I've never tried to emulated his fashion sense, so I always wear two gloves.

    I will try putting on one sock this morning and see if it bothers me.

    If it does I'll let you know.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for stopping by - I'd love to hear what you have to say!