The Procedure

There was a time that I was so needle-phobic that I asked the dentist to give me a filling without anesthetic. Note: NOT RECOMMENDED. Now that I think about it, that may have been the turning point in my relationship with needles. Sometimes they are a necessary evil.

I had my hip aspiration on Monday & it was just as exciting as it sounds. But, as I said on Facebook, like all things that are dread-full, it wasn't as bad as I had feared. First, though, big props to my dad for coming to pick me up & take me to the hospital (Dr. M had to take his dad to a doctor's appointment). Daddy knew exactly where to go, where they keep the wheelchairs, and how to maneuver me around. Thanks Dad!

For the procedure, they numbed the area (the Necessary Evil Needle), and then used another needle (that I could not feel) to try to draw up some fluid for testing purposes. There was no fluid to be had, so they tried another area (another NEN - but this time I could feel the probing needle a bit - ow!). They ended up putting saline in there to draw out to send to the lab. That doesn't sound like fun, but it was a bit of good news because no fluid means a smaller (or no) infection. Now my hip is a little bit more sore, and I'm waiting to talk to my doctor next week about what they found.

While I sit around on my keister, Dr. M is taking care of All The Things. Today he vacuumed and mowed. He's just the best.

Monday Miscellaney

During this last week of October let's see if we can get this blog train back on track just a bit. I make no promises because after taking two days off work last week it's crazy busy around here. Why, I didn't have time to even look at Facebook for more than 5 minutes this morning!

So, what's going on this week...

• We've moved my computer into the small office, which was originally going to be Dr. M's office, so I'm surrounded by bookcases filled with titles like A History of Blacks in Kentucky, and Henry Clay, Statesman for the Union, and Battle Cry of Freedom, and Those Terrible Carpetbaggers. It makes me feel quite scholarly. What? I've watched Ken Burns' Civil War so I'm sure I know most of the stuff in these books, right?
• I actually feel pretty bad for usurping Dr. M's space. I'd like to formally announce that I'm totally willing to switch offices with him if he likes - I'll even move the equipment!
• While I was at the dermatologist on Thursday she found a suspicious mole on my shoulder (color me amazed - a suspicious mole on a 50 year old very moley person) & took a biopsy. I'm not really concerned about it, but I have to keep a band aid on it for a week & that sucker ITCHES. Urgh. (Not the same band aid - I get a new one each day - ha!) I've taken to spending extra long in the shower just so my shoulder can be free. FREEDOM! (That seemed tasteless in light of my first bullet point.)
• That last bullet point has too many parenthetical clauses.
• I think I've officially run out of things to say.

OK, quitting now. What is new & interesting in your life? Can you relate it to history books as well as I just did?

2014 Project 365 – Week Thirty-four

Well, my “procedure” is behind me (ha!) & I don’t have to do that again for another 10 years. Other than that the week was pretty quiet. If a bit toady.

Sunday, August 17^th  

Bought my supplies for my colonoscopy.

My daily walk.

Dr. M did some flash phone photography.

What passes for nightlife around here.

Monday, August 18^th  

Dr. M saw a parakeet in our back yard! Now that’s the strangest thing yet.

Mr. & Mrs. Goldfinch stopped by for a bite to eat.

Drama Queenitude – pictures of my chicken broth, Jell-o & Ensure – and me with tape on my mouth so I wouldn’t accidentally drink anything which is actually from the next day but I’m not fixing it now. Ha! My doctor has his patients do half of the Gatorade/laxative mix one day & the other half the next day. Fun times!

My daily walk.

Tuesday, August 19^th            

Almost done!

Dr. M saw this while he was waiting for me to finish my procedure. Made us laugh.

My daily walk. See that relieved look on my face? And that’s my last word on the subject. Heh.

Wednesday, August 20^th

Drove by the Tax Time Pig today! And got my usual terrible photo of it.

My daily walk.

Thursday, August 21^st

My daily walk. I did not sing in the rain, although as someone pointed out since my neighbors already think I’m weird I don’t know why I didn’t! (I think that sentence might have needed a comma or two.)

Dr. M saw several of these little dudes this evening.

Friday, August 22^nd

We had a baby shower at work. I was supposed to bring “a vegetable.” Heh. (Many thanks to Dr. M for stopping by the farm stand to get these fresh veggies. The tomatoes were from our garden.)

My daily walk.

Saturday, August 23^rd   

Participated in the ALS Ice Bucket challenge this morning. I’ll probably share the video later this week (if I can figure out how). Dr. M’s was WAY better than mine – maybe I’ll share both of them!

My daily walk mow sweat fest. Why didn’t I wait until after this to dump ice water on my head?

Dr. M took a turn at mowing. I had to laugh at the garland the mower acquired from the trees that lean over the back of our fence. Very stylish!

Have a great week!

Wordy Almost Wednesday - The Children of the Corn Edition

I've been having such a crazy fall. Super busy work. Church duties. Failed root canals... There hasn't been room in my brain for being very creative. Or attentive to other people's blogs (sorry!).

And it doesn't really look like winter will be any better. My boss is leaving the company (his last day is this Friday) & my job will change in ways that I can't really imagine. We're getting a new roof put on the church, and replacing a vanity in the basement bathroom. And on Thanksgiving day I found a lump in one of my breasts that is probably just a cyst, but will need some kind of attention (I had a mammogram yesterday & the technician agreed with my assessment - but of course I'll need to hear the official word from the radiologist). 

And now it's Advent. We sit in darkness waiting for the great light. If you're Episcopalian like I am you try to tune out the Christmas music and settle in for the wait. Christmas Day is coming, but it's not here yet. So I'll add in some extra waiting to the season. The "what the heck will my job look like" waiting can mingle with the "what the heck am I going to do with the grape in my breast" waiting. 

I imagine myself, sitting in a darkened sacred space. One worry is in my left hand. The other clings to my hip like a small child. And we wait in peace for the light.

Various & Sundry Thoughts on Halloween

Although Dr. M and I didn’t dress up this year, and it was cold and windy (I actually heard the wind WHISTLE at one point!), he still sat outside and passed out candy to the kidlets (and the not so kidly). It’s one of his favorite things to do so I’m glad he participated.

I got my tooth pulled today. It was quite reluctant, but eventually Dr. Ames was victorious. It came out in pieces, which just confirms the need for this entire procedure. 

I actually did take a picture of the hole in my mouth, but then I deleted it. You’re welcome. Instead you get a picture of the bowl of ice cream I fixed myself after I ate my bowl of soup. This is spumoni which, after Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food, is one of my favorites.

Dr. M bought me a present on his way home from school today. Behold, Mavis Jr.! (You can see Mavis Sr. here.) Look – she does tricks!

Isn't it cute? It projects on the wall, has three colors, and has a 20 minute sleep setting. 

I’m going on a vestry retreat tomorrow evening (just an overnighter – but without my computer!!), and Mavis Jr. is going along to keep me company.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Random Thoughts While Waiting at the Doctor's Office

[Note: if you're looking for Monday Miscellany, look no further. There isn't one.]

This afternoon after I had been sitting in the inner office for about 15 minutes waiting for the doctor to come in & tell me about my test results, I had these random thoughts:

• I really need to pee. Should I risk going now, or wait?
• Man, my nails are a mess.
• I wish I had brought a book to read. There aren't even any interesting disease pamphlets in here.
• I wonder if I would get in trouble if I tried the reflex hammer on myself? (After picturing my potential black eye I back away from the hammer).
• The girl on the Gardasil poster looks too young to be having sex.
• I am officially an old fuddy duddy.
• I wonder if I'm going to EVER stop shedding. I might need to shave my head. Or pretend we have shag carpet. Eww!
• My doctor sure has ridden in a lot of Multiple Sclerosis bike fundraisers. Good for her!
• My handwriting is terrible! I wonder if I'll be able to read these notes when I go to put them on my blog.
• Maybe I'll read one of these diabetes pamphlets after all.
• Well that was not interesting. I sure hope I don't have diabetes because the only precaution I already follow is brushing & flossing my teeth.
• I called Dr. M just now to say I would be late.
• Yay! It's the doctor!
• Yay! All is copacetic (no kidney issues)!
• Except the blood test results didn't come back. Now I'm waiting to see if I have to give more blood. Sigh.
• Snuck out out to pee.
• Texted Dr. M.
• I'm eyeing the hammer thingie again. (Back. Away. From. The. Hammer)
• Oh joy, here comes the carton-o-blood vials. I'm a pin cushion!

So, after an hour and a half I got to leave the doctor's office with an order for another ultrasound. The first one showed "a 2-3 cm hypoechoic lesion, abutting the fundus of the uterus." What in the world! Could it be my broken tail bone? Stay tuned for the further adventures of The Bug, in "Can't I Just Have Hip Surgery & Be Done With It?"

Low Level Freak Out

If you’ve read my blog for very long you know that I don’t really like to keep my troubles to myself. My friends would tell you the same. As soon as I got the letter on Saturday saying that my mammogram on October 28th required a follow-up scan I started sending emails. And today after I called the doctor’s office to discover that they had seen two “nodules” that needed checking out I sent further emails. I fully expect that these nodules will end up being nothing, but my physical response doesn’t really reflect that. I am low level freaked out is what I am. At least my appetite has been suppressed.

Anyway, I don’t really do introspection very well – what I do is write. So of course I wrote a villanelle. Sort of. It has form problems. But apparently I’m imperfect right this minute too – so we match!

The double knots of fate -
adrenaline coursing quickly through.
My fingertips are numb.

My heartbeat doubles up its rate.
A fog descends – what can I do
with these double knots of fate?

A distant friend sends me these crumbs:
It could be nothing. Could be, true.
But my fingertips are numb.

My inner voices start to grate
logic takes a back seat to
these double knots of fate.

Breathing deep I try to plumb
my inner Zen – it’s flown the coop
and my fingertips are numb.

In and out my breath flows through.
I take the crumbs and will them true.
Meaningless double knots of fate.

And, still, my fingertips are numb.

My follow-up appointment is next week. Of course I’ll let you know the results!

The Bug is Free! Well, in a little while anyway...

It has been a little over 3 months since my shoulder surgery. The last time I saw my surgeon, a month ago, he took my arm & moved it around & seemed displeased with my progress - & told me that swimming would be the best thing for me! The next day I asked my physical therapist about swimming – he said that I was not ready to try to do that yet. Which is good, because I’m not sure how I was going to manage to swim without putting my arm over my head – maybe the butterfly, or that Australian crawl? I don’t swim well at the best of times – I can just see the fiasco that would be the Bug in the pool with no overhead arm motion. Cleanup in Lane 5!


That made me feel a bit better about my progress – as usual, the surgeon is pie in the sky & why aren’t you swimming the English Channel, whereas reality is are you able to pull your hair back in a ponytail yet (the answer is yes!).

Yesterday I saw my surgeon again for another follow-up. They took an x-ray which apparently looked fabulous. He said, how bout we say I’ll see you when I see you! I thought that sounded extra fine. But there was the little matter of my physical therapist’s recommendation that I have another 6 weeks of therapy. And the fact that Dr. M & I had already discussed that I wasn’t quite where I wanted to be. So I told Dr. Surgeon that I thought I wanted to follow my PT’s advice. He agreed – admitting that the PT knows best at this point (duh!).

But then I’m DONE. Whatever my arm can do after six more weeks is what it can do. I’ll keep doing my home exercises, but as of Christmas, I’m finished with going somewhere I pay people to torture me. Merry Christmas to me!

This photo is from Christmas 2006 - note the doll on the dresser - my cousin the potter made the head & hands, & her mother made the dress from pieces of my Mom's wedding dress. Yes, that's supposed to be me - I think it's a pretty good likeness, but I'm afraid someone will use it as a voodoo doll someday.

I double-tie my shoes for my doctor’s appointment, even though it’s no biggie (a pulled muscle). Because somehow it’s important that my shoes don’t unravel while I’m out. I put on too much makeup & then wipe half of it off (I never was very good at painting my face). This is not for the doctor – it’s for the ladies at Victoria’s Secret. Because I’ve decided that nothing heals a pulled muscle faster than a new bra. Really!

And I really really really hope the doctor doesn’t tell me to just quit using that arm for a while because I’m NOT competent with my left hand. I’m enough of a klutz with my right hand. There would be mayhem. Maybe mayhem would be good for me – that would certainly tie in with the suffering thing!

P.S. Dr. M. (my hubby) has an interview in 17 minutes at a local university – maybe that’s why I double-tied my shoes!