This afternoon after I had been sitting in the inner office for about 15 minutes waiting for the doctor to come in & tell me about my test results, I had these random thoughts:
- I really need to pee. Should I risk going now, or wait?
- Man, my nails are a mess.
- I wish I had brought a book to read. There aren't even any interesting disease pamphlets in here.
- I wonder if I would get in trouble if I tried the reflex hammer on myself? (After picturing my potential black eye I back away from the hammer).
- The girl on the Gardasil poster looks too young to be having sex.
- I am officially an old fuddy duddy.
- I wonder if I'm going to EVER stop shedding. I might need to shave my head. Or pretend we have shag carpet. Eww!
- My doctor sure has ridden in a lot of Multiple Sclerosis bike fundraisers. Good for her!
- My handwriting is terrible! I wonder if I'll be able to read these notes when I go to put them on my blog.
- Maybe I'll read one of these diabetes pamphlets after all.
- Well that was not interesting. I sure hope I don't have diabetes because the only precaution I already follow is brushing & flossing my teeth.
- I called Dr. M just now to say I would be late.
- Yay! It's the doctor!
- Yay! All is copacetic (no kidney issues)!
- Except the blood test results didn't come back. Now I'm waiting to see if I have to give more blood. Sigh.
- Snuck out out to pee.
- Texted Dr. M.
- I'm eyeing the hammer thingie again. (Back. Away. From. The. Hammer)
- Oh joy, here comes the carton-o-blood vials. I'm a pin cushion!
So, after an hour and a half I got to leave the doctor's office with an order for another ultrasound. The first one showed "a 2-3 cm hypoechoic lesion, abutting the fundus of the uterus." What in the world! Could it be my broken tail bone? Stay tuned for the further adventures of The Bug, in "Can't I Just Have Hip Surgery & Be Done With It?"
What, they didn't translate that into English for you?
ReplyDeleteglad there are no kidney issues.
You are too funny! I can totally see you going through that whole list of thoughts as you sat and waited for the doctor. My doctor's office is nowhere near as interesting.
ReplyDeleteMy doctors now hide the hammer thingie. I guess they are afraid someone will steal it.
ReplyDeleteBe well.
You sound like me...I think some of those same things. Hope all goes well. I have to agree with Linda...I haven't seen the hammer thingy in a long time.
ReplyDeleteArent they the most boring places? Glad it went ok for you.
ReplyDeleteI was at the doctor's office yesterday myself.. I should have done that too.. .but I can tell you, I definitely had the "should I pee" thing going on too :)
ReplyDeleteI hope that you are o.k. ...at least you got to see the doctor...our surgery has changed tactics and when I went today they said, "sorry all full up"...so what about tomorrow, "well you will have to try then"...?
ReplyDeleteperhaps there's nothing wrong with me anyway...let's hope!!
You had so much more fun and interesting things to do and think about than your Kindle ever could have provided.
ReplyDeleteDo we need to pitch in and buy you a reflex hammer?
I love these thoughts and yes - you should leave to pee because it makes the doctor come faster. :o)
ReplyDeleteDon't you just hate those surprises? Here's hoping it is nothing to worry about. I can't imagine going to the doctor without my Kindle. Take yours along next time.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how you make going to the doctor so stinkin' funny! I had to smile (and snicker) as I read it, although I was trying to feel more empathetic.
ReplyDeleteFabulous, I really did LOL reading this. I can definitely relate to wanting to play with hammer thingie.
ReplyDeleteYou are giving me the confidence to write about the mammogram from Hell!
ReplyDeleteSorry you're going through all this, Dana. I hope everything works out okay.
I wish I'd had the sense to take a note book along on the aformentioned procedure.
Kat
Hee hee! I can see a documentary of the life of a waiting room with exactly those items in it. No three-year old magazines? This office truly needs to up their game. At least they had the hammer!
ReplyDeleteGlad for the good news. Hugs.
I laugh as it is amazing the amount of things that can go through one's head while waiting!!!!
ReplyDeleteHope you are okay!
Oh, my gosh! Such a funny post.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand about the "Pee" thing. And when I'm at my primary care doc, I'm always wondering if they're going to need my pee for lab work. So I'm always thinking... to pee or not to pee?
One of my major pet peeves is about the dearth of "good" magazines in doctors' offices. Really? Can't they get some decent magazines in there?
Now THIS is a blog post I could write! What's up with your kidneys? Or otherwise?
ReplyDelete