The Bug is All About the Number (and talking about herself in the 3rd person)

My crazy behavior has begun again (um, this is different crazy behavior sweetie). This morning in the shower I was debating whether or not to shave my legs. Would that small amount of hair make a difference? I decided that grooming is good whatever the result (right).

On the way to work I did not eat my breakfast, and only took small sips of water. I decided that not only did my jeans not feel looser – they feel tighter than they did last week (yes I wore the same jeans – to be consistent!).

I walked into A’s office with trepidation & started disrobing. Off went the boots, the earrings, the lanyard, the jacket. And with one eye shut I stepped on the scale. I may have fleetingly thought about lying to you guys if I didn’t like the number. Fleetingly. Really.

I’m three pounds down (if I were lying it would be more like 1 pound – no one who knows me would believe THREE).

I’ve been thinking about why the number means so much to me. Why I compulsively need to step on the scale at least once a day. Why I have my weigh in rituals & why I feel cheated when I’m unable to do any of the rituals.

I’m a Weight Watchers warrior, a veteran. And I know my body. In order to live a normal life while also trying to be healthy I typically lose less than a pound a week. Sure those ounces add up. And after 160 of them are gone I can actually tell in my clothes. But for me those 10 pounds might take three or more months. That’s a long time to keep doing what you’re doing without some tangible result. If I didn’t record those ounces on a weekly basis I would just give up on week two, convinced that nothing was happening.

I want to be healthy & eat good things for my body. But right now, with 60 pounds to lose & arthritis in my hip, my priority is to lose weight. It’s gonna be a long slow haul people – I hope you’re prepared to hear my weigh in ritual story every week. And I promise to not lie. If I gain, I’ll tell you. If I lose .2 (a regular happening in the past), I’ll tell you. If I lose three pounds again, I’ll faint first, then I’ll tell you!

Note: I won’t be in the office next week so I won’t be weighing in. Sure my Dad has a scale. But am I making myself crazy by weighing in the day after Thanksgiving? Not a chance!

The Bug is Free! Well, in a little while anyway...

It has been a little over 3 months since my shoulder surgery. The last time I saw my surgeon, a month ago, he took my arm & moved it around & seemed displeased with my progress - & told me that swimming would be the best thing for me! The next day I asked my physical therapist about swimming – he said that I was not ready to try to do that yet. Which is good, because I’m not sure how I was going to manage to swim without putting my arm over my head – maybe the butterfly, or that Australian crawl? I don’t swim well at the best of times – I can just see the fiasco that would be the Bug in the pool with no overhead arm motion. Cleanup in Lane 5!


That made me feel a bit better about my progress – as usual, the surgeon is pie in the sky & why aren’t you swimming the English Channel, whereas reality is are you able to pull your hair back in a ponytail yet (the answer is yes!).

Yesterday I saw my surgeon again for another follow-up. They took an x-ray which apparently looked fabulous. He said, how bout we say I’ll see you when I see you! I thought that sounded extra fine. But there was the little matter of my physical therapist’s recommendation that I have another 6 weeks of therapy. And the fact that Dr. M & I had already discussed that I wasn’t quite where I wanted to be. So I told Dr. Surgeon that I thought I wanted to follow my PT’s advice. He agreed – admitting that the PT knows best at this point (duh!).

But then I’m DONE. Whatever my arm can do after six more weeks is what it can do. I’ll keep doing my home exercises, but as of Christmas, I’m finished with going somewhere I pay people to torture me. Merry Christmas to me!

This photo is from Christmas 2006 - note the doll on the dresser - my cousin the potter made the head & hands, & her mother made the dress from pieces of my Mom's wedding dress. Yes, that's supposed to be me - I think it's a pretty good likeness, but I'm afraid someone will use it as a voodoo doll someday.

Random Dozen Meme, and I Won, You Win Winner!

1. If you could master one sport, what would it be? Does ping pong count? I use to love to play when I was younger (& had access to a table), but I wasn’t super fabulous at it, just better than people expected so I would sometimes win. But I would LOVE to be a world-class ping pong player. Wow, I really am super geek.

2. When you make a major purchase, do you go with your gut instinct, or do you do research to make an informed decision? I make Dr. M do the research & then he’s the one who gets to decide since he did all the work. I know, a major cop out! I think if I had to do it myself I would narrow down my choices with research & then go with my gut instinct to make the final selection.

3. There is an old kids' game that says you can find out what your movie star name would be by using your middle name as your first name and the name of the street you grew up on as your last. What is your movie star name? Well, this isn’t much fun – my maiden name is Wallace & the street I grew up on was Wallace Dairy Road! So I’d be Marie Wallace Dairy. Heh. Sounds like a character actor to me.

4. Would you rather give up your favorite music or your favorite food? This is hard! I rarely listen to music since I listen to books on tape – but I don’t know that I’d want to give any of it up. But food! For my health I should say I’d give up the food. This is my not happy to give up food face.

5. There are two types of banana preferences. One is pristine yellow, almost to the point of being green; the other is spotty and more ripe. Which is your preference? Banana bread! No? Ok, then it needs to be ripe enough that you can actually peel the thing, but I don’t like brown spots.

6. Your favorite tree is? Christmas tree!

7. On a scale of 1-10, how tech savvy are you? I’m an 8 I think – except that I’m not moving with the times. I don’t know how to text, twitter or DVR.

8. Has H1N1 touched your family? Not that I know of – yet!

9. Are you an analytical person, or do you just accept things the way they are without questioning or scrutinizing? Analytical – this was especially evident when I was a child & had all these questions about the Bible…

10. Is your personality more like that of a dog, cat, or Koala? Hmmm, another toughie. I’m going to go with cat – leave me alone & let me do my thing. I’m gonna do it behind your back anyway…

11. Do you keep in touch with friends you made years ago? Yes - three friends from college (well, one of them is my cousin Kim so I’ve known her from birth). We try to get together around Christmas every year to have a meal & exchange gifts. I missed the year I was in Zambia, but I don’t remember missing any others. So that’s, what 25 years now? Hi Sherri & Jenny & Kim (and assorted hangers on otherwise known as your families)! Have you bought your ornaments yet? I have perused, but not purchased...

12. You are checking out at a grocery store. In the express lane, there are more people than the regular lanes, but of course, their load is less than those in the regular lanes. Which lane do you choose (assuming you qualify for the express lane) and why? I go with the self checkout lane. Oh, that wasn’t an option? Boy you’re strict. The express lane for me – I just think it will go faster than the grocery carts filled to the brim.

OK, now it's time to announce the winner of the I Won, You Win carnival. I put all six of the names in a lovely pottery basket & made Dr. M do the honors. The winner is Amy!! Congratulations!

P.S. I'm very conflicted about the floss - I have some teeth that are very close together, but I think the wax flakes off & gets lodged in there. I've started using Reach Gentle Gum Care Mint Woven Floss. I think it works best.

I Won, You Win Carnival

Last month I put my name in the hat to participate in this carnival, begun by Robin at Be Still and Know, and then passed along by Linda at 2nd Cup of Coffee. And I won! I know, I was amazed too. The prize was the opportunity to read a book (Sisterchicks in Wooden Shoes by Robin Jones Gunn), make notes about the parts I liked best, & then pass it along to another "Sisterchick." Here is Robin's original concept:

As I finished the book up the other day I began to think about the two women the story centers around.

The story begins with two pen pals in elementary school and they continue with there friendship for many, many years through letters and emails, but they have never actually met, not until things change for the main character. Her life takes an unexpected turn and she finds herself face to face with her long time pen pal.

I began to think of the similarities between the two women in the book and all of you, my fellow bloggers.


As members of this unique internet community we enter into each other lives as we read each others posts, as we comment, share encouraging words or just a well needed giggle now and then.

But what I enjoyed as I read this book was the depiction of the friendship these two women shared. They had been intimately involved in each other lives but had never been in the same room with each other, never shared a cup of coffee over the kitchen table, never wept in each other arms. Yet they still shared in the deep bonds of friendship.


The relationship the two women in this book have is a real friendship, as real as friendships get.


I found the similarities between the book and the blogosphere to almost mirror each other.

The idea for “I Won…You Win” is two fold.

Once a winner is chosen I will send the book out into the blogosphere.


My hope is that whoever wins it will keep the “I Won…You Win” giveaway going.


The second requirement is once you have finished the book place your blog address on the inside cover, as well as the date you finished the book and then continue the “I Won…You Win” Giveaway on your blog.

Link back to me in your giveaway. Let’s see where this takes us.


I also want to encourage everyone who reads the book to mark your favorite chapter in the book with a note in the margin telling future readers why you enjoyed the chapter. Use your imagination, tuck a special note in the pages or a pretty bookmark, but put “yourself” somewhere in the pages of the book.


I am so excited to send this out into the blogosphere.

Let the giveaway begin!

I’ve finished the book (a quick and enjoyable read) & I’m ready to pass it along. If you’d like to participate, just leave a comment, with the answer to the following question.

Dental Floss: Waxed, or not?

I’ll announce the winner on the Wednesday meme. Good luck!

Sundays in Zambia

I decided to save the story of my airplane trip to Zambia for another day (maybe someone will have a meme about terribly traumatic travel experiences & I’ll tell it then). Suffice it to say that there were canceled flights, icy airports, lost luggage, coin operated showers, and sleeping on top of carry-on bags involved. I thought that perhaps you might be wondering when is she ever going to post some pictures of Zambia? Is this, or is this not, supposed to be a Sunday in Zambia? Okay, okay, here you go!


One of the first things I had to do once I arrived (other than learn my actual job & borrow clothes from my house-mate Rebecca until my luggage arrived) was to find a church. I know! I was amazed that I wouldn’t be able to sleep in on Sundays too! I visited a lot of different churches, or maybe two. There was the bigger congregation where the pastor was one of the missionaries. It had a lot of diversity – missionary families and Zambians. But it reminded me too much of the churches back home. I wanted something different. And there was the church where Rebecca taught Sunday School – a tiny concrete block with a dirt floor. There was a lot of joy in that church, but they didn’t really need me.

I ended up going to the small informal Bible study that the campus ministry missionary had for the University of Zambia students. They wanted me to play piano. I was adequate not too bad TERRIBLE. And I wasn’t very good at teaching or leading Bible studies either. Really, what I was good at, was my job. Witnessing & what one would consider to be traditional mission work? Not so much. I’ve always wondered what strange magic made the Foreign Mission Board pick me for this work. Perhaps that magic was God.

I didn’t take any pictures at the student center (what the heck!), so here are some pictures from the church where Rebecca taught.

Wherein Bug Notices Her Body (it's about time!).

I weigh more now than I ever have in my entire life. I’m 5’4” & my current weight is ____. Did you really think I’d tell you? My family & friends are going, well yeah, you usually do LOL. I might tell you. When I’m on my way down. I’m not sure the number means anything though. What that number tells me is that I am ignoring my body. Since I plan to keep using it for another good long while I had BETTER get with the program – any program!


My program of choice is Weight Watchers (online) – Bug Style. I’m going to be weighing in on Fridays with a coworker in her office (yes, she keeps a scale in her office - heh). We’re both pretty determined to try to be healthier. That’s my goal this time around – I want to lose weight, sure, but I want to eat right & exercise too. If those two things can become a habit then I’ll be able to keep this up because it really is a lifestyle change, not a diet.

I’ll be posting my results each Friday. The whole post might be about how evil food is (food isn't really evil, I know - but it does have a siren call for me), or it might be about something else with a footnote. But I’m going to make my commitment to better health public & that means you’re my witnesses. You lucky dogs!

Here are a couple of images to help with my motivation. My "before" picture - is from a cruise I took in 2004 - I had hit goal a couple of days previously (you can see my gold WW goal star that I wore the whole cruise to remind me to not go crazy at the buffets!). Boy, am I a pear or what? The "after" picture is from this summer. I don't really think it needs any explanation.

Random Thoughts about the Man I Love on His Birthday

The other day Dr. M & I had an argument. After an eternity of discussing the whys & wherefores he said, “You still seem angry.” I said, “I’m not angry – I’ve been done with this argument for a while & I’m annoyed that we’re still talking about it.” I told him that as usual in this case I’m the man and he’s the woman. He likes to get to the heart of a matter. I just want to say I’m mad & move on. I think it’s because he’s a professor – talking about stuff is his job & he’s really good at it!

I would really like to take him out to dinner tonight to celebrate his birthday. He got birthday money from my aunt M – we can afford it! He’s the cook in the family. There’s a reason for that. I could possibly boil pasta. And heat some sauce. Or put the frozen pizza in the oven. Hmm. I’m thinking Mexican – what do you think sweetie?

Twenty years ago I gave him a birthday gift for the first time. It was something special to us - & remains an important symbol of how we “get” each other. This year’s gift is more whimsical, but another example of how we get each other – strange obsessions and all (remember, he got to drive the car that said OPUSLUST on the license plate). I should have gotten him a personalized plate – SHEEP1ST. Heh.

Although we’ve had lots of hard things happen during our marriage, none of those things has touched our marriage. We are one for all and all for one. Even before those vows joined us together. They were just words – affirming what we already knew.

Happy birthday dear heart.