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I’m reading this series of books about a woman
who is a forensic sculptor. She is no Kay Scarpetta (I know – not the same line
of work, but that’s what I thought she might be like). And the author is
certainly no Patricia Cornwell. This is one of those “used to be a romance
novelist wanna be a thriller” kind of deals. And they’re light & fluffy &
filled mostly with women who won’t do what they’re told (the best kind of woman
IMHO). BUT. Almost every other book in the series involves going to Colombia to
thwart some evil drug lord. Or has a prominent character who used to fight with
the rebels. Or was a Navy Seal. I’m getting a little bored with the formula.
Not only that, but the strongest epithet anyone uses is, “Son of a bitch!” All
those Navy Seals/Mercenaries & not a single F-Bomb? Not that I like cursing
in my books – it just seems odd. Of course, since I’m on book 11 of a 20 book
series you know I’ll just keep chugging along. I’ll try to keep the whining to
a minimum.
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Does anyone know the significance of this? I had
just done dishes & was sitting outside crocheting. Dr. M went back into the
house & found this.
I didn’t put it there. He didn’t put it there. There’s not
anyone else (I don’t think). Hmmm.
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I felt slightly light-headed* today heading back
to the office after some lunch-time shopping. So what did I do? I drove faster.
Because by jiminy if I was going to pass out it was going to be in my work
parking lot, not on the street! Does anyone else do this? Does it make even the
least bit of sense? It reminds me of the time in Zambia when I was driving my
mom & grandmother to Victoria Falls from Lusaka – I got REALLY sleepy so I
started driving faster so we’d get there quicker. Aren’t we all glad I don’t
drink?
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This being Junior Warden is for the birds. We’ve
got: a kitchen sink that drains into the floor, a ceiling coming down because
of air conditioner condensation, a door that won’t shut properly unless it’s
slammed, a ceiling fan that won’t work, an older congregation who can’t really
maintain the landscaping (& no budget), and BEES. And the bees are probably
honeybees so I’m not gonna be spraying those suckers – I’ll have to see if
someone will come & get them. My initial research tells me the chances are
slim & we’ll just need to coexist with them – even if honey DOES drip down
the walls.
OK. All done now. So, how’s your day been?
*I’m fine now – this just happens occasionally.
Hmmm...what exactly does a forensic sculptor do?
ReplyDeleteHere is my take on the "knife on floor" situation: 1) it tried to commit suicide by throwing itself off the counter; 2) Dr. M almost walked in on an intruder who changed his/her mind about stabbing you and took off in a hurry.
Lightheaded...that's what happens when you shop instead of eating your lunch! But I agree, better to pass out at work than somewhere on the road.
Forensic sculptors (or at least this one), take a skull & reconstruct the person's face. In her case she does this because they've found a body, but don't know whose it is. If she gets a good likeness then they can search missing person reports, etc.
DeleteI think #1 is the correct answer - ha!
Pass out at work and you can claim workman's comp and recover at home while still collecting your pay.
ReplyDeleteThat's the plan!
DeleteI thought it was "Imagine Whirled Peas"...er..."Imagine World Peace"? ;)
ReplyDeleteS
Ha!
DeleteI would only be worried about the knife if it isn't yours!
ReplyDeleteWon't a beekeeper come and collect the honeybees? I thought honeybee hives were valuable.
From what I understand, if the bees are inside the structure it is cost-prohibitive to try to get them out. In many cases they would have to remove part of the building to get to the hive. I'm going to assess the bee issue this weekend & see if I think we need to really address it or just leave them bee (heh).
DeleteIf I came in and found a knife on the floor, especially when I knew there was no logical way it could've gotten there (all my knives are secured in drawers), I would definitely think that my ancestors and passed-on loved ones were telling me to be more alert and at the ready; danger is afoot. Yeah, that's pretty much the way my brain works.
ReplyDeleteIn this case I did know how it happened - I apparently jostled it when I put another knife away on the same shelp & the slamming of the screen door caused it to jump into the floor. Several feet away from its shelf. Hmm - maybe it IS the ancestors!
DeleteHari kiri for knives...an odd, yet likeable concept!
ReplyDeleteI get you about the disappointments in the formula books. The whole 'former NAVY SEAL" thing is about as tiresome as the "toned body" of the heroine who is either a serious runner or a not so serious runner but never obsesses about her looks. Yeah, right.
Um...don't pass out?
Don't pass out - gotcha!
DeleteYou know the other day on Facebook I posted one of those memes about not starting a new book right away because you're still living in the old one. And YOUR book came to mind - I lived those characters for quite a while (and in fact at one point I had to remind myself that they were FICTION - ha!).
Stop reading stuff you don't care for. What are you, a masochist? Go read something wonderful and engaging and give your brain something to do. Let me know if you need some recommendations. Or, here: read "Song of Myself" by Walt Whitman, online. The Professor would love reading it TO you as well.
ReplyDeleteI hope they are honeybees and that you can at least harvest the honey. How awesome would that be?
Oh I get all attached to the characters & have to find out what they're up to. It's like having family members that you might not want to show off to anyone, but you still need to see how they're doing - ha!
DeleteHa! One of the first things I downloaded when I got a Kindle Fire was Whitman's "Song of Myself"!!! Love that Walt...
ReplyDeletei read through all the Twilight books thinking "this has got to get better, or else what is all the fuss about" and the best advice i can give you is if you're not enjoying the books read something else - you don't owe anything to the author
ReplyDeleteI had that EXACT SAME response to Twilight! I wanted Bella to get over herself already. Ugh. If I'd known how the series was going to end I probably wouldn't have slogged through it (although I have to say that Vampire Bella was much more interesting).
DeleteOn the other hand, I read a different book from the same author (The Host) & thoroughly enjoyed it. I wish it was part of a series...
Gotta watch those squirrels. They'll move things and mess with your head.
ReplyDeleteBut they'll do it cutely!
Ha!
DeleteThe book sounds like one I would like. I really hate the f bomb and other words in movies and books. I just fail to see the point to them. The knife is strange...but I sort of believe in ghosts.
ReplyDeleteI would think it was a ghost - but we haven't had any other ghostly activity. Now, my church on the other hand...
DeleteThe knife in the floor is weird. Did creepy music play in the background?
ReplyDeleteI'd never be able to finish the series. You're right, some series become formulaic and all the stories run together. Patricia Cornwell used to live near me and of course, many of her stories took place near my home.
Did you ever figure out what made you feel faint? Hope that never happens again.
I think it might be my blood pressure medication. I started taking it a few months ago & I think it has more side effects than my old one.
DeleteI've been catching up as I'm so woefully behind. A couple of posts back, your robin in the birdbath post cracked me up, especially with the photo bomber!
ReplyDeleteI need to come around more often.
I know exactly what book series you're reading. I'd read all her romance novels and loved them. When she went off in this direction, I liked the first book or two and then just gave up.
I cannot explain the significance of the knife, but you may want to see if the ruby throated hummingbird has been sneaking indoors. He looks kind of pushy.
Hugs
Oh he IS - you can just see his puffed up self-importance :)
Delete