Tuesday, August 31, 2010

One Shot Wednesday - Bated Days

This is my first attempt at a Villanelle, which is an interestingly odd form for poetry. I had to modify it (well, had to isn't really right - I got bored with trying to make it work so I modified it just a bit). I'm not at all sure it even makes sense, but we all have to start somewhere. And, of course, since it's my blog I'm going to share it with you, regardless of quality. Aren't you lucky? No?  (Oh, and if you read my post from earlier today you'll note that my writer's block has not gone away. Heh.)



Bated Days

These are bated days
Though my heart is beating still
With summer’s wanton ways

The air is still and stays
Heavy upon the window sill
These are bated days

The parched grass sways
Marching in time downhill
Amid summer’s wanton ways

I am content with my malaise
Can I stave off winter with my will?
These are bated days

All that’s left is haze
Oh could we but distill
this summer’s wanton ways

The nut-brown child plays
Until he gets his fill
These are bated days
Teeming with summer’s wanton ways


This poem is part of One Stop Poetry's One Shot Wednesday poetry gathering, where all poets are welcome to share. Make the rounds!




17 comments:

  1. I am so looking forward to autumn and so dreading winter and I felt that even more reading Bated Days. I've never heard of the Villanelle form so I have no frame of reference, but I did like this. I loved the heavy air on the window sill - that is summer!

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  2. the good news is that before winter we get fall and fall is my fav time of year...i think you did wonderful for your first..i have yet to do one...a little intimidating you know but perhaps you have inspired me...nice one shot!

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  3. This is great! Aren't villanelles the most fun? A little maddening at first, but such an enjoyable pattern, after you get it worked out in your head.

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  4. Nice indeed
    I love heat could live in a desert - drop the temp and I am an icicle.
    So I am bemoaning the end of summer
    thanks for sharing with One Shot

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  5. This is wonderful. We are heading into Spring in NZ and this is what my poem is about.

    My poem is here.

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  6. Well if that was a failure, give me one any day. It was great. I love the lines of rhyme and rhythm.

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  7. I'm not looking forward to Winter, but I'm glad that it is not 100 degrees out. So I guess I'm very much looking forward to fall.

    I liked this. Not sure what a Villanelle poem is suppose to look like, but I think yours was great. And I love that picture.

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  8. oaky I'm going to try one next week
    I so enjoyed your form and content Bug!

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  9. i thought you wrote that very well and i enjoyed the flow..i am learning something new...cheers pete

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  10. Well done, Bug!

    One doesn't often encounter the word 'bate' these days. Thanks for keeping it alive and reminding me of it.

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  11. I've played around with the vilanelle before. I think the was a great first one!

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  12. This is marvellous, Dana, a great read. I truly enjoyed it. Villanelle is such an interesting form, but I bet it's hard work. I've never tried it myself, though your poem is so good I may just give it a go...

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  13. I understand getting bored with a villanelle...not everything is as seemingly easy as "Do not go gentle.." I have written several but I think all forms are good for changing and you changed this one quite well. It captures the end of summer and for the folks who get seasons each change is met with expectation. However here where we have 6 or 7 months of summer, it doesn't give way to much that is different and one longs for change that never comes. Thank you for the lovely poem. Gay

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  14. The forms are about discipline and the challenge to allow the imagination come through but if you want to break free then go for it. And where did summer go! My poem is about goodbye.Hope your week goes well

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  16. Shoot! That needs another line, doesn't it?

    Nothing wrong with that one at all! You did a splendid job. I love the intricacies of the villanelle and other poems that require a pattern to the rhyme. In fact, they are my favourite to write.

    Stave not the winter, still
    Be satisfied with Fall;
    The wanton summer drops her
    Dress of green,
    To colour up her cheeks that chill,
    Before the dead-leaf pall.

    (Now off for that glass of Cawarra.)

    Kat

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  17. Oh yea... season change time!!!
    New ambers and oranges await us.. followed by the white..
    Will, and some help from that heater are a must!! :)

    Loved this read, my friend..
    "The nut-brown child plays" -- such vivid imagery.. wow!! Excellent descriptions.. nice played villanelle! Kudos..

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Thanks for stopping by - I'd love to hear what you have to say!