The Commute

Driving home from work

on a glorious day

makes me appreciate

the journey

almost as much

as the destination

Wednesday Random Dozen

The Random Dozen is hosted by Linda at 2nd Cup of Coffee. Go there to check out the answers other folks gave to these questions.

1. What was the last thing about which you procrastinated? I'm supposed to be cleaning out the office of one of the attorneys who left the company over two years ago. I look through a stack of papers in a desultory way about every two weeks. At this rate it'll be 2012 before I'm finished (and then the world will end!). At home we can always say that I'm procrastinating the vacuuming. Unless it's the actual day I've vacuumed or the six days after I've vacuumed – then I'm avoiding the vacuuming.

2. How long does it take you to fall asleep, and do you sleep through the night? I usually fall asleep within about 5 minutes of going turning the light out. Usually. Sometimes it takes longer. Like when I sleep until 10:30 in the morning & then try to go to bed a scant 12 hours later. I always wake up to go to the bathroom at least once during the night – often twice. But I have no trouble falling right back asleep.

3. Which decade would you choose to exemplify your favorite fashion styles? I'm not fashion-forward enough to know the answer to this question. The preppy look did nothing for my figure. And the hippie look, ironically, seemed to be for straight skinny people too. I think the sixties offered the most alternatives for a small-waisted, big hipped woman.

4. What is your personal best dish to feed a crowd? Me, feed people? Ha! Now, Dr. M has some good "company" dishes – BBQ pork & grilled chicken come to mind. I'll provide the pita & hummus. (Sabra brand – you didn't think I'd actually make it from scratch did you?)

5. Are you an impulse shopper? What was the last thing you bought on impulse? I'm an impulse food shopper (Must. Stay. On. List. – ooh tiny little cartons of Skinny Cow Ice Cream!). But since I so rarely do other kinds of shopping I can't say that I'm an impulse shopper. I usually do the "do I really need this" test - & sometimes I say no & still get it – but I wouldn't call that an impulse buy after all that agony.

6. What is one wish you have for your own funeral? That I were still alive? Oh, not an option? I think that I would want the service to be whatever the folks who are left behind need for it to be. It's not for me – it's for them.

7. If it's true that joy is in found in the simple things in life, what does your joy look like today? Bright blue skies, boss in a good mood, Laughing Cow cheese, my Toms shoes…

8. What is your favorite type of bread? I'm not a huge bread eater (Give me chocolate people! No, not chocolate people. People! Give me chocolate!), but I do have an opinion. Mamaw's yeast rolls. Those evil biscuits at Red Lobster. Hushpuppies (are they not bread?).

9. What trait do you fear developing the most? (Laziness, greediness, grumpiness, etc.) I already have all of those! Thanks, Lid for pointing out my faults… I think that I'm most afraid of losing my memory. I know that's probably not exactly a "trait." But it scares me. I'm fairly forgetful already.

10. What trait would you like most to develop? The opposite of those listed above! Vigor, selflessness, kindness…

11. Which room in your house best reflects your personality? Why? The living room. There are a lot of uncompleted tasks, a bit of clutter, lots of blankets & a comfy pillow on the futon, my computer, and the TV where the baseball saves my sanity each night.

12. How do you maintain balance in your life regarding, work, family, church, other organizations and activities, and blogging? I maintain balance by just not doing very much. I'm on the computer a LOT, but so is Dr. M. It's our family time together. My work gets left behind at work (I'm hourly so I can only work 40 hours a week anyway). Right now church is a one day a week gig – choir practice is after the service is over on Sunday. That could change if I get more involved. I do struggle to get the vacuuming in there since I'm so busy. Heh.

The World Keeps On…

Man, I hate being predictable. Well, that's not strictly true – I enjoy a good routine. But this business of being out of sorts. Crabby. Bloated. Uncomfortable in my own skin. I'd rather that not be routine. Four weeks ago I wrote this. And today, again, I had my monthly epiphany. For heaven's sake – really? Am I so present moment that I can't keep track of the rhythms of my life? Apparently.

But enough complaining.

On Sunday I was in church listening to an elderly gentleman read the lessons, and then another elderly gentleman talked about his experiences on ships during World War II. I was filled with a sense of gratitude and sadness. Gratitude that I got to be with these men now, but such a sadness that I won't know them longer. I'll bet they were pistols when they were younger. But how can you tell which younger people will be as interesting when they're older? If I knew I'd work on getting to know them now!

I took a picture of the infamous pig today – he's a (rather silly) dragon right now. But you'll have to wait until Saturday to see him – he's definitely my picture of the day. Until then, enjoy these random pictures I took from my desk at work & a few that Dr. M took today – helping to remind me of some of the other cycles of life…

Nekkid Sheep. Heh.

Magpie Tales – Week Twelve On The Bus!

This week I decided to combine my two poetry prompts – Magpie Tales & the Poetry Bus. You can see the Magpie prompt below. The Watercats (click on the link to see the other poets) is driving the poetry bus this week & asked us to write about sex, drugs, rock, and/or roll. I decided to write about rock and roll - & maybe there're some drugs in there too. Who knows? Certainly not this author LOL! I just write 'em – I don't have to understand 'em.

Fish Out Of Water

There's a concert going on

up the street.

Music rushes

over

by

through her

in waves.

A relentless ocean

a relentless pounding

a relentless…ness.

Its own entity.

a being of music

shouting her down

drowning her out

drowning her

in this psychedelic

fishbowl.

To participate in Magpie Tales, or to read other entries (you won't be sorry!), just click here.

Project 365 – Week Eighteen

Sunday, April 25^th
On Sunday I found a four leaf clover by the garage. This is the picture I had wanted to put in this post – but the internet thwarted me.

Monday, April 26^th
On Monday Dr. M took pictures of cows. I love the green grass & the cow silhouettes on the hills.

Tuesday, April 27^th
On Tuesday my tomato seeds started sprouting! I was SO excited when I looked on top of the microwave (what? It was a warm dark place.) & saw the little bit of green. And just the day before I had FINALLY remember to water it. Oops.

Wednesday, April 28^th

On Wednesday Dr. M saw these very fuzzy burros – too cute!

And he took this arty shot of exploding dandelions. I still think they're pretty – although the empty stems are like sentinels in the grass. What are they trying to warn us of?

Thursday, April 29^th

Thursday was the day Dr. M was working on my computer. Well, one of the days. I think he's finally done. For now.

Friday, April 30^th

Oh Friday Dr. M was laughing in the kitchen & then grabbed the camera. I don't know what it means when penguins start standing on top of sheep. Is it a sign of global warming?

Saturday, May 1^st

Today I decided to take a picture of our "laundry center" since that's what we're doing today. We were going to go back to the fen to see what's new, but it's raining. Maybe we'll get out there tomorrow afternoon. We got this laundry cart because the washer & dryer are in the kitchen. We used to roll the whole thing into the kitchen, but these days we just tote the clothes back & forth. I like that the bins are small so we do laundry in smaller more manageable loads (we had to get a compact dryer to fit into the space – can't cram too many clothes into it).

It's my oldest nephew's birthday today. I can't believe that this little angel is 18 today! What the heck? He's graduating high school this year & plans to enter the computer world. He's been taking computer classes at the local community college. He'll go there for a bit & then probably transfer to a four year college. I think if he could he'd just crawl right inside the computer. But we'd miss you B1! As is my modus operandi I have forgotten to send him a card & his annual birthday check. But obviously I'm thinking of him on his birthday – that counts for something, right?

Mom holding B1 - he's wearing her reading glasses

Go here to see the blogs of all the other Project 365 participants.

Honest Scrap

Ann T. Hathaway has given me the Honest Scrap award. I’m quite honored because she is one of my hero bloggers. You never know what you’ll find when you go to her blog. World War II logistics, Miss Ellen the bicycle, Zombies in the basement, PTSD, training for the blue line, and books, books, books. All discussed with her special brand of compassion & humor. Consider this little gem from yesterday: “I need a Wrench. Miss Ellen's handlebars are suddenly headed West when I want to go North. It is possible to steer like this, but only to Eventual Disaster.”

So I’m pretty psyched to be one of her “chosen” even if I’m probably the fluffiest entry. She has actual Serious people and Heroes on her list. The rules are that I’m to tell 10 things about myself and then give the award to 10 people. I can’t even imagine what is left to tell you guys that you don’t already know, but I am always up for talking about myself!


1. Here is an old pet peeve that recently reared its ugly head. I hate it when people use “ya’ll” when talking to just one person. It’s a contraction of “You All” & when you use it directed to one person it makes me think of Gidget – no – Norma Rae – no – Sybil! That’s it! Unless the person really does have multiple personalities don’t call them “ya’ll.” Of course, this could just be the case in my area of the south – maybe other southerners use it differently. But they’re wrong. Heh.

2. When I was a small child I had heard of illegitimate children, but all I knew was that they didn’t have fathers. I didn’t like boys at the time, so all of my Barbies had illegitimate children.

3. I always wished for one special talent – like dancing or singing or doing the grapevine in Jazzercise without falling over. But, knowing my limitations (lack of rhythm and pitch and general klutziness) and knowing my limited attention span, I am, in lower middle age, ready to accept one thing that I can claim as my own: the ability to randomly turn a nice phrase. A nice phrase does not a poem make – but it does make reading the poem a little more palatable.

4. I have to have a reminder on my calendar to water the plants at work. And I’m not sticking my finger in that dirt to check them! They get watered every other week whether they need it or not.

5. Speaking of said aversion to dirt under my fingernails, for Father’s Day I once gave my dad a “coupon” for digging potatoes in the garden. I considered it the ultimate sacrifice.

6. I drive by an airfield on my way to work every day. They give rides. I would love to take a ride in one of those little planes! Today I thought how much my mother would have loved to take such a ride too. Random grief – it’s kind of hard to plan for.

7. I hate ending a sentence with “for.” But I’m just not going to become a contortionist to fix it. I mean, really: “Random grief – for which it’s kind of hard to plan” just doesn’t make sense.

8. I have a bad habit of using humor to deflect pain. Which is ok in its place – but not everyone is like me. They know that facing and moving through pain helps in the healing process. I find it ironic that the person who taught me to take up my humor shield is my mother. And I’m using the life skill she taught me to deal with her loss.

9. I am amazed that I’m digging into this grief today! It’s a random Friday in April. No special significance. It’s that darn airfield’s fault.

10. Let’s end this with a thanksgiving: I am so grateful to be married to my Renaissance man Dr. M. He can teach Old Testament and American History. He can attack computer viruses. He can grow almost anything and fix almost anything. He is hilarious and loves baseball like I do. And he gets me, which I’ve found is very rare. Love you Dear Heart!

OK, now I’m supposed to give this award out to ten people. And just like those emails where you’re supposed to tell folks what color of socks you’re wearing (I’m commando today!) I don’t expect everyone to actually do anything with this award. Some people don’t “do” awards and some people don’t have time and some people wonder who the heck is this chick giving them an award! Mostly I just want to talk about what their blogs mean to me.

1. Amy at All Things Ro. Amy is a great mom, recent fiancée, music teacher extraordinaire, and absolutely hilarious. Stop by her blog & check her out!

2. Katy from What A Great Place To Be A Cow. She writes thought-provoking essays about whatever is in her head. Her head is very interesting (although it seems to be a bit obsessed with Disney) – you should go see for yourself!

3. Reya at According to the Cosmology of Reya. She does NOT want this award. Well tough patooties. She may ignore it, but you should not ignore her fabulous musings about the universe & her place therein.

4. Kim at hmmm – which blog shall I use? She has three. I think I’ll use this one, Prayers for the Oft Traveled Road, She make me think hard about what God desires for my life and what I can do to facilitate the process.

5. Anne at Reverent Irreverence. Anne is an Episcopal Priest and Pampered Chef consultant who gives us a glimpse into her life every day. When Anne has a bad day she always shares what she’s doing to make it better – and that helps me to tackle my bad days too.

6. Ellen, from Stuff from Ellen’s Head. She also does not want this award. Well, Ellen, what did I say to Reya? Just accept that you’re fabulous – you don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. Ellen has a view of life that just makes me stop the frenzy & relax. I don’t know why, but she calms me down all the time. And that’s not even what she’s trying to do – she’s just letting us know what’s going on in her life in a wry, laidback way.

7. Barry, from An Explorer’s View of Life. Barry is a fabulous story-teller with a lot going on in his life right now. He doesn’t need to be messing with an award like this. But you need to go visit him and learn that life really is fascinating if you tell the story the right way.

8. Jo, from A Majority of Two. Jo likes to talk about her “little blog” and I guess sometimes it might seem inconsequential to an outsider when she talks about her new chairs or mattress. But Jo likes to tackle tough controversial subjects. I don’t always agree with her, but I always find her interesting. And Jo doesn’t want this award either. Heh.

9. Jayne from Journey Through Grace. Jayne often posts excellent pictures of the birds around her home. But it’s her posts about her life that bring me back again and again. Grace is the right word to use to describe how she approaches the everyday world.

10. Argent from Delusions of Adequacy. While her blog title is fabulous (it could be talking about me!) it’s her writing that I enjoy week after week. She’s a songwriter (and singer!), poet, and short story writer with a lot of talent. Although I think Harold’s tale has moved beyond the realm of the short story!

OK, there you go. Check out all these great people & tell them the Bug sent you!

Whew! That was exhausting.

Random Whinging

• I have pistachio debris under my desk at work. The cleaning people are gonna love me.

• Our internet mysteriously disappeared for about 36 hours last week. It just as mysteriously reappeared. And then yesterday disappeared again. Just another example of the capricious nature of the technological world. We have a technician coming to look at it this evening. I hope the tech is able to fix it because OH THE WITHDRAWAL!

• Dr. M has been ferociously attacking my computer with anti-thises & anti-thats. I have some sort of sickness on there & he is bound & determined to locate it & destroy it (yes, at this point he’s feeling just a wee bit violent about the whole thing).

• Our garage door is even more busted. This is just from it doing its job – going up, going down. Apparently that job was just too much for the poor thing & it rent itself like the veil of the temple. Well maybe not exactly like that. After never having a garage before we lived here I’m amazed at how inconvenienced I feel now that I can’t use it. Spoiled much? [Note: I just got a call from the property manager – they’re sending someone to measure the thing tomorrow!]

• The white lights on our “palm” tree have died. One strand died last week, then Sunday night we were sitting in the living room & noticed that the remaining lights were extra bright. They stayed that way before winking out forever. I guess it was their last hurrah. Sigh. Where are we gonna find Christmas lights in April to replace these?

But all is not lost – because I found one of these in our yard:

[Imagine a picture of a four leaf clover since my internet is dead to me]

I don’t necessarily think it will bring me luck, but it makes me smile and I think that smiling brings you luck. Also, when I’m searching for four leaf clovers my mind just kind of calms down & the little problems of my life get lost in the wonder of this small miracle from God.

[Imagine picture of four leaf clovers in a Bible. I used to collect them in my Bible – I have several dozen.]

Magpie Tales - Week Eleven

This is Not a Formal Affair

It once held

tobacco leaves.

Rich, fragrant

poison.

It served its time

in that rafter.

Served those

cash crop farmers.

Now it serves me

as I wander that

rocky and rutted

root-ridden path.

What place would

an elegant gleam

have in such a life?

I am content

with my walking

companion.

To participate in Magpie Tales, or to read other entries (you won't be sorry!), just click here.

Church Camp

I decided to join the Poetry Bus, hosted this week by Argent. She gave us two prompts from which to choose - I chose this one:

Off-Peak/Off-Piste TravelCard


Have you ever been lost? Were you alone in the woods or just going the wrong way up a one-way street. What did it feel like being somewhere you weren't supposed to be?

This is a time when I definitely felt like I was in the wrong place at the wrong time!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/cosmocatalano/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Church Camp*

My parents drop me

at the farmhouse door.

I am barefoot

as I wave them off.

Mamaw! I'm here!

Papaw! Where are you?

I am barefoot

and there's no one there.

I am alone.

Frantic.

I run up the hill

through the grass.

I am barefoot

sobbing at the neighbor.

Back down the hill

fast as I can

I run barefoot

over gravel, over terror

to my mother's arms.

She felt my terror

and came looking for me

and took my barefoot self

to church camp.

This poem is about an obvious failure of communication between my parents and grandparents, who had already left for camp when my parents dropped me off. My mom wasn't sure why she decided they needed to come back to check on me, but since I can still feel the terror and abandonment I felt that day almost 40 years ago, it must surely have traveled to her on the road.


*Church camp was really just a piece of land my church owned where we went to play softball (or rollie bat if we didn't have enough people for two teams). But the main purpose of church camp was to make sure you got enough Lincoln County North Carolina red dirt on your person to turn the whole bathtub red when you bathed that night!

Project 365 – Week Seventeen

Sunday, April 18^th
Martha Goose is ready to help with the gardening! Please note the poppy in her pocket leftover from a long ago Memorial Day.

Monday, April 19^th
On Monday Dr. M took a ton of great pictures. I picked only my favorite three to share with you.

Tuesday, April 20^th
On Tuesday Dr. M took some pictures around campus. A lovely iris, and the cutest bug! It belongs to his office-mate & I have a bit of a crush on it.

Wednesday, April 21^st
On Wednesday I actually took a picture. Of our busted garage door. Hopefully the property manager will approve a new one!

Thursday, April 22^nd
On Thursday I finally took a picture of a barn I pass on my way to work every day. I'm guessing it's been painted for quite a while now. Since the early 1990s I reckon.

Friday, April 23^rd
Oh Friday Dr. M found a buffalo on the back roads on the way home from school. A buffalo!

Saturday, April 24^th
Today I went to the birthday party of a former coworker's daughter. Former as of this past Thursday. She's one of the ones that J's losing. We love S & will miss her a lot. Anyway, this party was dinosaur themed & the birthday girl's grandmother made these great cupcakes with twinkies on top. Yum!

Go here to see the blogs of all the other Project 365 participants.

You Know How I Love Vacuums

In 1997 when Dr. M & I were moving from North Carolina to Cincinnati, in a fit of insanity, J hired me over the phone. I was the office administrator for a company that provided services to adults with mental retardation – we had group homes and also provided direct care staff for people who lived in their own home. I worked there for nearly 5 years.

J had been promoted from the business manager to the director of the agency & did that for a few years before she was burned out with the industry. She got a human resources job at another local company (actually using her degree) and when a position in her department came open she dragged me to the new company (I went with fear & trembling, but yes, I was lured by the Almighty Dollar –it was a BIG increase for me). Even though I am NOT a people person, she made me work in HR for 6 years. I liked the part of my job where I entered data & ran reports. Dealing with employees in crisis? Not so much. Part of my job was managing medical leaves, so I was exposed to a lot of crises.

After 6 years the company was in the midst of restructuring. They were outsourcing a lot of my tasks and I could read the writing on the wall. Rather than wait for my severance package I decided to apply for another job in the same company. I got that job – legal assistant – and have enjoyed it quite a bit. I work with one attorney behind a locked door. It's peaceful in there. J's office is just around the corner & I see her every day.

In the nearly 13 years that I've known J, I've seen her through a divorce, internet dating, a second marriage, infertility, and twins. But our biggest challenge is just beginning.

For various reasons, she's losing her remaining two employees (who are also my friends – why do they have to abandon us?) and will be left with just a temp. She's also probably about to lose her mind. I have this sneaking suspicion that I will be pulled back into the HR world (I already help out sometimes when they're swamped). Can you hear the vacuum too, or is it just me?

 To be continued…