Candid


In general, candid* is my default setting. Mostly because I either a) speak before I think, or b) can’t figure out why what I say shouldn’t be (brutally) truthful. Not surprisingly, this has led people to shake their heads or fists at me on a regular basis.

Actually, I should qualify that by saying that I’m candid when I feel comfortable in a situation. So if I’m speaking my mind – congratulations! You have set me at ease. Next time you’ll be more standoffish won’t you?

I’m sitting here trying to figure out why I put this word on a gratitude list – what about “candid” makes me thankful? Especially because being candid can be hurtful if I’m not careful.

I think that being candid frees me to not try to figure out who I’m going to be. I’ve never had a poker face anyway – why not go ahead & say what’s behind those alarmed, disgusted, amazed, exuberant eyes.


*can·did (kndd) KEY

ADJECTIVE:
  1. Free from prejudice; impartial.
  2. Characterized by openness and sincerity of expression; unreservedly straightforward: In private, I gave them my candid opinion.
  3. Not posed or rehearsed: a candid snapshot.

Comments

  1. "Candid" belongs on a gratitude list because it represents honesty in communication. And that is sorely lacking in our world of euphemisms and corporate mumbo-jumbo.

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  2. NCmountainwoman hit the nail on the head. I'd love it if people said I was candid. Instead, I have to settle for over-opinionated or "full of himself."

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  3. Agreed! Far better a candid friend than an uncandid one. Incandid?

    Also it sounds a bit like what you do to fruit for Christmas, so that's pretty cool too.

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  4. Yes- candid can be good and funny.

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  5. I tend to sort of apologize when I'm about to be candid. We should both stop doing that and, as NCmountainwoman says: just be honest.

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  6. It would be an interesting world if we were all candid - all the time. Not sure I could cope with what would undoubtedly be painful truths :-) I'm just glad nobody can read my thoughts (yet).

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  7. Argent - that is the other side of it. Do I really want OTHER people to be candid with me? Well, maybe not if it's not flattering :)

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  8. Thought-provoking, this musing of yours. Honest too. I hear your laughter at yourself, and that is one reason why I like your candid-ness (candidity?) and believe it belongs on a gratitude list. We need more self-examined lives in this world.

    I think where we run into doubts about it is in the aim of the candidity: Are we voicing beliefs about ourselves or judgments about others, such as, "I'll be candid; I think you're an ass"? That latter is not being "candid"; it is not impartial, free of prejudice. In fact, it's totally prejudicial, and to call it honesty is self-delusional ego masquerading as righteousness.

    Like you, I'll be candid when I'm comfortable, but I'll be candid about myself only. I can't be candid about you, since I don't have omniscence or impartiality about you. Everything I think about you is filtered through the flawed lens of my limited knowledge and my own self-interest. When "candid" is hurtful to others, I think in fact it is because I've just voiced an opinionated assessment in the grandiose belief that my opinion is somehow "true" and I really should have kept my mouth shut.

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  9. I wish I could be more candid. I worry too much about feelings.

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