One Shot Wednesday - School Lessons

School Lessons

That brash New Girl.
I let her see my paper.
She copied all those
100% correct answers.
And then…
She cracked, confessed
and threw me under the bus
(not that we knew what that was then).
Protecting her, my 6^th grade self said,
"No ma'am I didn't cheat,"
and made a Zero.
So now I hoard my knowledge
like my mother did with
her minutes of my time.


This poem is part of One Stop Poetry's One Shot Wednesday poetry gathering, where all poets are welcome to share. Make the rounds – it will no doubt be fascinating!

Rest in Peace Barry

Barry Edward Fraser

April 3, 1943 to July 20, 2010

His wit, his compassion, his love for Linda and Lindsay, his way of taking an ordinary day and making it an adventure - these drew me in and made me want to stay awhile. I may never have met him in real life, but I will miss him tremendously.

Rest in peace Barry.

Rest in peace.

Let light perpetual shine upon Barry. May his soul and the souls of all the departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

Malaise

mal·aise: 
NOUN:

1. A vague feeling of bodily discomfort, as at the beginning of an illness.
2. A general sense of depression or unease.

Yep, that's it. I know I'm a hypochondriac, but I'm pretty sure that malaise describes my condition perfectly. I can think of several causes for this current bout of the blahs – some of which meet both definitions.

1. I've lost my house key again. Shh – don't tell Dr. M. I thought I had fixed the problem with my key ring structure, but apparently not. Sigh. Hopefully it's at work like it was the last time I lost it. UPDATE: My key WAS at the office - someone found it in the parking lot. I've attached it to the car key so that shouldn't happen again.
2. I did not do well on my PYMWYMI challenge (pimwimmy!) today. I know – it's just one day, get back on the horse, or the wagon, or with the program, yada yada yada. I think my problem is that I'm missing the point of Amy's challenge – I am supposed to be grateful that I can do these healthy things and help other people. I'm missing the gratefulness portion of the program.
3. I ordered my first pair of reading glasses on Friday. I discussed that to death here. But I'm actually kind of excited because when I was a kid I would pick out what I thought were cute glasses (it was the 70s people – I worked with what I had) but then they put the coke bottles in & the cuteness disappeared. These lenses shouldn't be as thick should they? I'm hoping… I will certainly post a picture of me reading something in my new glasses.
4. My Magpie poem from Sunday apparently had depths that were too murky for most folks. I was writing about the American Indian addiction to alcohol, as well as my addiction to chocolate. I do tend to expect people to jump into my brain when they read my poems. Yeah, that sounds scary to me too!
5. And last, but not least, I have to go to the dentist tomorrow. I gots a cavity. Yes, I revert to 4 years old when I have to get a filling. I'm not sure I've ever not had a traumatic experience getting a cavity filled – and I have LOTS of metal in my mouth so I have lots of experience with the trauma. I floss. I brush. What is the deal here? Anyway, that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach is me trying not to hyperventilate. I don't have such a phobia that I don't go to my twice yearly exams, but it's a near thing. I'm doing this for YOU Daddy – hope you appreciate it! Heh. Well, & there's that small matter of it hurting when I eat. Hey – maybe this is the answer to Pymwymi! UPDATE: I'm back from the dentist. He had to give me THREE shots before I was sufficiently numb (finding out you're not numb when he starts drilling is NO FUN). But it's done now.

I'm pretty sure that all will be well in about 24 hours. But if you guys could send soothing vibes at around 12:30 tomorrow I would appreciate it.

I'm pretty sure I'm 3, not 4, in this picture, but I think it's exactly how I feel about having a cavity. Heh.

Magpie Tales #23

Fire water filled that hole
in their hearts
the way chocolate
ignites mine.

Did they drink
to forget that
pale rape
of Eden?

Do I savor
this dark manna
to forget that
I am not here?


What can extinguish
the demons in the water
and the chocolate?
Pull the pin and see.

To participate in Magpie Tales, or to read other entries (you won't be sorry!), just click here.

Project 365 – Week Twenty-Nine

Before we get to the pictures I'd like to say HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to Daddy & Amy! I think they're still at the beach, so I'm kind of feeling a little jealous right now, but I hope they're celebrating in style.

Sunday, July 11^th

On Sunday I went over to our neighbor's yard before church so I could catch the cypress vine with its blossoms open (they close up around midday & don't open again until the next morning). K has trained it up around one of his hummingbird feeders. It's like a Christmas tree in July!

Monday, July 12^th
On Monday Dr. M took a picture of a cloud formation that intrigued him. I love the cornfield against the sky with the clouds.

Tuesday, July 13^th
On Tuesday Dr. M was roaming around the neighbor's yard again (they had been gone & he had been watering their plants). He took some pictures of their flowers.

And he caught a couple of hummingbirds at one of their feeders. They had a fight (which of course he couldn't catch because they are too fast). Then the green one came back to claim the feeder again. I think they have at least three different feeders, but they seem to like this particular one - & apparently hummingbirds don't understand "share" LOL

Wednesday, July 14^th
On Wednesday Dr. M saw another deer. I love how it looks like the deer & the squirrel are talking to each other. "Are you lookin' at me?"

And then he stopped to get a picture of this corner in our town – it makes me smile every time I drive past it.

Thursday, July 15^th
On Thursday Dr. M took saw this plane in the sky. I like the picture because isn't the sky just gorgeous? Dr. M of course liked the plane – a Civil Air Patrol plane.

When I got home from work I went over to the neighbor's house & took a picture of some of their hen & chickens – I think these plants are so fascinating!

Friday, July 16^th
Dr. M got a picture of a grasshopper on one of our squash leaves. We're a little concerned about the mold on the squash & cucumber plants – the watering man is trying to leave them alone to dry out.

Here is what our regular tomatoes look like right now.

Saturday, July 17^th
Today Dr. M wandered around just taking random pictures from our yard. There's one of the grape tomatoes (some of them are looking pinkish), the regular tomato plants, a customer at the bird bath, a volunteer flower in our front bed (possibly from the wildflower seed packet – just a late bloomer?), another squash leaf visitor, and another cypress vine flower.

Go here to see the blogs of all the other Project 365 participants.

Poetry Bus and Wordzzle – When Memes Collide

I had decided to write a poem for the mini Wordzzle this week, and had just finished the scary little effort below when I read Argent's Poetry Bus instructions. The first ticket was to write something funny – I'm not sure I can top my grapefruit poem. But the second ticket definitely caught my eye:

Tunnel of (unrequited) Love. … it's not always easy to love and not be loved in return. What's it like when that certain special somebody doesn't even know you exist (it's called stalking - Ed). Are they with someone else? Are you jealous? Come and share the bittersweetness with your bus-travelling friends.

I'm not sure this mini poem meets all the requirements, but I couldn't ignore the synchronicity. Check out Delusions of Adequacy to read the other poems (most of which will be either VERY funny, or very bittersweet).

Words for the mini: shade tree, price, disappointment, power, camera

Sitting under a shade tree
fiddling with my camera
I've paid a price.
Bitter disappointment
wars with longing.
That longing has more
power over me
than your restraining order.

And, continuing with the Wordzzle, here is my effort for the 10-word challenge.

Words for the 10-word challenge: shark, Scotland, gravity, final hours, aggravation, heat wave, sweet tooth, killer, tragic, flowers

 "Ms. Bug, I don't believe you understand the gravity of the situation," said the lovely man at Scotland Yard. Despite his unwarranted aggravation with me, I could have listened to him talk all day. Swoon. I continue to be fascinated with the diversity of accents on my visit here in England.

"Oh no officer, I understand very well that you believe I was being a menace. But I don't understand why. Maybe it's this heat wave – it has you a bit tense." I was trying to lighten the atmosphere.

He did not smile at me, and in fact started looking like a menace his own self. His fleshy cheeks (or are they jowls? I think jowls, yes!) were quivering. I wondered if I should mention that he might consider ignoring his sweet tooth every now and then. Perhaps not, at this particular moment.

"Listen, officer, all I was trying to do was save the flowers from that killer! I was minding my own business on a tour of Buckingham Palace & I saw him – he was tramping all over the place with loppers and headed straight for the tulips. I just knew that something tragic would happen!"

"Ms. Bug," (this through clenched teeth), "surely you could see that he was the gardener just doing some pruning. And he wasn't anywhere near the flowers! There was no justification for you tackling him and putting him in a headlock. You assaulted the man!"

"Well, sure, I know now, but at the time I thought I was saving the Queen's tulips. God save the Queen's tulips?" With a scowl he marched stiffly from the room. Oh no, there was going to be no amity here. Apparently I was in real trouble.

Now here I sit in a small room awaiting my fate. These could be my final hours! Well, possibly just my final hours in England. Sigh. I could sure use old Rumpole about now. Or maybe his wife Hilda – she seems to have been more of a shark than he was.

Please note – I've never watched the Rumpole television show, but I've read several of the books that came after. Delicious! They are so much fun. I highly recommend them.

Please go to Raven's blog to read the other Wordzzle participants. And join in – it can be addictive!

A Post that isn't a Poem or a Story, and Contains no Pictures

Warning – I have a lot of things to say today. You might want to read this in shifts.


Boy it feels like it’s been forever since I’ve written a blog entry that wasn’t a poem, a story, or a list of pictures. Well, there was this one from Tuesday. But the one before that was at the end of June. Let’s see, I do the Wordzzle, the Magpie (sometimes), the Poetry Bus, Project 365, and now I’m doing the One Shot Wednesday . Hmm – that’s five different memes. At least this week I’m combining the Wordzzle and the Poetry Bus.

You know, I was hoping this blog would reopen that room where all my words had been shoved. But I was thinking more of inviting them along on a toe-dipping session in a kiddie pool – not an all day swim in the ocean. It’s been interesting feeling like I’m on a deadline (a flexible one, fortunately) and I think that the results have varied. But it’s fun! I started this post thinking that I would be talking about dropping one of the poetry memes, but I think I’ll probably keep doing it as long as it’s fun. I feel like I should apologize to someone for this…but I most likely won’t.

OK, on to the REAL drivel.

I have an appointment with my eye doctor this afternoon. We have both been so pleased with the results of my lasik surgery over five years ago. I was blinder than a bat (I didn’t have any of that radar stuff to help me get around). Without my contacts I literally couldn’t see that there was a monitor on this desk, much less tell that there might be words on the monitor. Well, there would have been a squarish blur that I probably would have surmised was a monitor (is that radar?). Anyway, at the time of the surgery I was 40 & my eye doctor warned me that I would probably need reading glasses at some point – sooner than if I had not had the surgery. And I believe that day has finally arrived. I can still see to read books – it’s the tags in my clothes that are giving me fits. And that tiny little label on the nail polish bottle (what if I was supposed to do something different other than put the polish on my nails? I’ll never know!). My left eye is very different from my right eye, so I’ll need prescription reading glasses. We’ll see if he recommends them today. I’ll keep you posted!

I’m doing just ok with the PYMWYMI challenge (um, Amy, maybe we need a new acronym?). I’ve cut back on the diet soda and I’ve been eating a lot more healthfully (there may have been cookies on Wednesday – but we won’t speak of it). I have not exercised. Anne suggested dancing and I mentioned that I dance a lot like Elaine on Seinfeld (if you don’t know what that looks like, just go to youtube & type in Elaine from Seinfeld dancing – you can’t miss it). I think that perhaps you would burn MORE calories dancing in that non-rhythmic way. Dr. M – consider this your warning that things could get QUITE ugly at the Bug household!

During the summer our choir has a hiatus, and members of the choir sing solos instead. I did not offer my services because I don’t have anything in particular that I sing. But last Sunday the choir director said that people had been asking for me to sing. And I don’t know why I don’t really believe her, but singing and writing are areas where I just don’t really believe compliments. I know – it’s something a good therapist could help me with. (And here I am tearing up for this poor little kid who doesn’t think anything she does is special – I don’t want to be that kid!). Anyway, when I mentioned the lack of solo material she suggested that I sing a hymn. So I’ve been driving Dr. M crazy trying to pick one out. So many of the ones from my Baptist childhood are all about the blood – and I just don’t want to sing about that. I have it narrowed down to three, but I think that I might go with this one. It’s kind of the crux of my politics. If we aren’t helping Jesus with the task of caring for the poor, needy, weak, wounded, thirsty, ruined… well why are we here anyway?

I Will Arise and Go to Jesus


Come ye sinners, poor and needy
Weak and wounded, sick and sore
Jesus ready stands to save you
Full of pity, love and power
Refrain


Come ye thirsty, come and welcome
God’s free bounty glorify
True belief and true repentance
Every grace that brings you nigh
Refrain


Come ye weary, heavy laden
Lost and ruined by the fall
If you tarry till you’re better
You will never come at all
Refrain


I will arise and go to Jesus
He will embrace me in His arms
In the arms of my dear Savior
O, there are ten thousand charms

Come back tomorrow to see a sordid tale of unhealthy love – and a trip to Scotland Yard!

One Shot Wednesday – Ode to a Grapefruit

Ruth's post about Quinoa reminded me of this little gem – written around 1987 or so. Next week I'll try to remember to write something new.

Ode to a Grapefruit

Ah! Humble Fruit – I sing to Thee

With perfect past'ral Modesty.

I sing Your Virtues – clear to Me

In Moments of Senility.

When on Thy rounded perfect Orb

My Eyes alight, They do absorb

An unparagoned Creation of Our Lord –

Which leaves Me quite without a Word.

Thy sly ambrosial Juice that squirts

Into My Eye in vicious spurts –

That hidden sour Taste that lurks –

Are just, indeed, but trifling Quirks.

And so in Moments of Repose

Fancy flies and I compose

A lilting Ode that fairly glows

With Love for that "Most Precious Rose"…

The Grapefruit!

Ok, I know, this is a picture from 2007 of me being cold, but

this is also the face I make when I eat grapefruit!

This poem is part of One Stop Poetry's One Shot Wednesday poetry gathering, where all poets are welcome to share. Leslie (Moondustwriter) is this week's host. Make the rounds – it will no doubt be fascinating!

Put your money where your mouth is

I don't want to blog about this. I'm actually quite tired of the subject. However, Amy at All Things A Ro has issued a challenge and I just can't let it go.

As many of you know, I really struggle with eating healthfully. I crave sweets and I often don't make the most healthy meal choices either. And the more I read about artificial sweeteners, the more I think that my Kroger Big K Diet Citrus Drop is sabotaging me. I know, I know, they've been talking about it for years, but I've ignored it. But now I'm actually paying attention to how I feel while I'm drinking the Drop. And what I feel is – where's the rest of my food? I have more drink left, but I'm out of food. Alternatively, I'll think that I want a drink, but I can't have it without also eating something. For some reason, I'm not sure why, but that just doesn't sound right to me.

I also struggle with moving my body. Some days it's a literal struggle – the old hip is wonky, or my foot hurts, or my shoulder is bugging me. But most of the time it's just inertia that's keeping me down (in my chair, in front of this very computer). My dad likes to say of me sometimes, "for such a smart person you sure can be dumb." It's true! Despite incontrovertible evidence that eating right & exercising are overwhelmingly to my benefit, I sit, eating bonbons (not literal bonbons – at least not recently).

So, here comes Amy Ro with a challenge. She says: Every day that I get up to exercise I will donate one dollar to the Special Olympics.  Every day that I eat without gluttony and choose healthy options and have a healthy attitude towards food I will donate one dollar to my local food pantry.  It is a win win situation.  I will become more thankful for my blessings, I'll be able to help others who aren't as fortunate, and I will become a stronger healthier person...not to mention some tax write offs at the end.

Well heck Amy, that's just entirely too healthy of a goal for you to have on your own. So I'm joining you darn it. You can tell I'm very excited. Sigh. Truth be told, I would rather just do whatever I want to. But somewhere deep inside, my (actual) heart (muscle) is saying, "At last!"

I don't want to disappoint it. Or let Amy earn more bucks than me (she will anyway – she's disgustingly disciplined). Join us if you dare!

Weekly Wordzzle

Words for this week's 10-word challenge are: smoothly, spiders, floor boards, eggs, carpet, moonshine, leaping, CD, purring, jewel And for the mini: spotlight, canvas, kitty, money-box, eye-drops

I decided that I like using all the words in one story best - probably because I'm too lazy to write more than one LOL. Go to Raven's blog to check out the other participants.

Uncle David wouldn't take an IOU for the kitty, so I was at loose ends Saturday night. I didn't really feel like playing poker anyway. Much. I decided to just chill & listen to my new CD by the Moonshine Mountain Boys. But then the phone rang, propelling me toward a destiny I would never have dreamed could be mine.

Adam had a plan. He'd heard a rumor about a fabulous jewel hidden in an abandoned building near the old foundry. He wanted to head over there right away and check out the place. I asked Adam who had given him the tip about the jewel. He said he overheard Kevin Lackey talking to someone else about it. Kevin Lackey. Seems like he had a grudge against Adam, but I couldn't remember exactly. Anyway, I wasn't excited about pulling up floor boards in a dusty old building - all on the chance that a tale told in a bar could be true. But the Moonshine Mountain Boys weren't really doing it for me, so I went. I packed two hard-boiled eggs and my eye-drops - just in case this took all night.

The building was even more dilapidated than I expected. In fact, I'm not sure there were any floor boards left in the place. I watched Adam smoothly leaping up onto a beam and decided that I was more comfortable down on the ground with the spiders. Well, maybe not comfortable exactly. Fact was I wasn't exactly comfortable about any of this. I stayed put on a small square of tattered carpet.

Adam called out from somewhere over my head, "Hey - bring the flashlight! I want to you to spotlight this hole in the wall." Obediently I clambered not smoothly up to where he was & shone the light. It didn't help much, but barely visible was a canvas bag shoved haphazardly into the narrow space. Adam pulled the bag out & after looking inside he pulled out an ancient money-box. We were getting pretty excited at this point. A money-box! Maybe there was a fortune in cash and jewels in there!

Of course it was locked. We decided to take it back to my place to see if we could pick it. We had started climbing down to the first floor when Adam asked, "Do you hear purring?" Yeah, I heard purring. We looked around and finally realized that the sound was coming from the box. Except that now it didn't sound like purring, exactly.

And that's the last thing I remember. Now I'm in a small room with some other people who look as dazed as I feel. I don't see Adam anywhere. Oh, here, they're calling my name - "Peter will see you now."

Magpie Tales #22

I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing. John 15:5

There was a seed

so small that I just

brushed it off my fingers

and hoped it would alight.

Then there was a sprout -

two tiny leaves

and a slender stalk

…so fragile.

Planted in the earth,

watered (abundantly),

drinking sun and soil -

gardener's alchemy

And now! These ripening orbs -

pomme d'amour indeed.

Ancient miracle of

seed, water, earth, sun…

My love walks

hand in hand with God

to bring to me

the desire of my heart.

To participate in Magpie Tales, or to read other entries (you won't be sorry!), just click here.