Today's poetry bus is being driven by the fabulous Niamh – or rather, apparently, her dog (who needs a walker, by the way – any takers?). She asked us to write about CONFUSION. And while I have been confused many times in my life, I know that my college years were particularly fraught with "what in the world is going on!" thoughts. I was a romantic late bloomer & had all those teen angst things happening at the same time I was trying to learn about Corporate Finance and Cost Accounting. An odd time in my life to say the least.
Not that I remember whether or not this poem was about romance. It could have been about my college roommate (KJ do you remember if I was upset with you in February of 1986?). It's interesting reading all these very emotional poems from an over 25 year distance – who knows what was really going on then? Anyway, enough blather – here you go!
Washed
Excuse me while
I withdraw
in confusion.
I seem to have made
a small error
in judgment.
I thought I knew you.
I thought I knew me.
Where the rain
hits the window
my view
is distorted.
Vibrant colors
waver.
The world is
washed deep.
I am washed
deep.
February 4, 1986
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Hi there, I really like this - your use of repetition in each stanza works really well. It is succinct, precise and the tone is very restrained and controlled. I particularly like - 'I thought I knew you./I thought I knew me.'
ReplyDeletelove confusion aptly captured in few words. Nice work!
ReplyDeleteOh, my goodness, I have felt exactly this way at times. Confusion.
ReplyDeleteYou have a way with words.
I would have expected that this is a more recent poem, such mature observations, to beautifully rendered! :-)
ReplyDeleteI found this very sad
ReplyDelete"I thought I knew you.
I thought I knew me."
"Where the rain
hits the window
my view
is distorted"
This is such a striking image
Considering how young you must have been when you wrote it, this poem shows a real sureness of touch. Very nicely done and not ovrestated.
ReplyDeleteWonderful poem, Bug! My college material is far less controlled. You have gift.
ReplyDeleteHow very contrite you managed to sound...
ReplyDeleteI see a part of myself in your words. Great poem.
ReplyDeleteThis says something about how we all feel at times. I liked it!
ReplyDeleteSo angst-filled, but so lovely. Nice.
ReplyDeleteAttagirl!
ReplyDeleteWhat a deep drawn confusion...
nicely written:)
~Cheers
Bravo! You must have been delighted to unearth this, after all that time, some really lovely lines in it.
ReplyDeleteVibrant colors
waver.
The world is
washed deep.
gorgeous
Wow, Bug, I am astonished that this is an unearthed gem from way back. I too like the restraint, and the maturity, and I'd highlight the section Niamh has - beautiful lines.
ReplyDeleteWhere the rain hits the window - like that a great deal - sort of pathetic fallacy for the mind.
ReplyDeleteKat
those teenage angsty things are a delight aren't they!.. there's something really simple in this poem that makes it really get to the point.. cool!
ReplyDeleteby the way, that 'willie died in the morning' poem and picture is so moving..
Nicely understated, this feels very 'true' in its expression - the restraint in the language, pace and structure feel very appropriate to the withdrawal - yet enhancing the sincerity and severity of the inner hurt. Well done.
ReplyDeleteDana, I like the image of looking out a window with 'wavering colors.' Nothing like staring out onto a rainy day to merge vision and thoughts which cause the tears to flow.
ReplyDeleteRain hitting your window, distorting your view ... I love those words!
ReplyDeleteI particularly liked the fisrt verse - that sort of confusion, where you are so stunned you find yourself being polite, when you should probably be hitting and spitting!
ReplyDeleteGoodness, would hate to see any of my college poetry - not a patch on this. Well done!
"Excuse me while I withrawin confusion..." what a great phrase - must use that the next gaffe I make.
ReplyDelete