My Last Easter Dress


NanU is driving the bus again this week & has given us a mission “Of Excess. Of Far Too Much. Of Going Over the Edge.” If there was ever a time in my life that was “too much” it was the days surrounding my mother’s death. On Easter Sunday 2005, six days after her death, we held a Celebration of Life service. Several people had prepared remarks & then others just got up to talk about what my mom meant to them. I read a short essay about her & then I actually attempted to sing the last bit (...the memory that says “Mom” to me is the one where she would come into my room at night to tuck me in and sing, “When I was just a little girl, I asked my Mommy what will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? Here’s what she said to me: Que sera sera! Whatever will be will be. The future’s not ours to see. Que sera sera!”)

Knowing in advance that we were going to have this service I spent some time several weeks before her death thinking about what I would wear. This is what I ended up with.

My Last Easter Dress

I am choosing a dress
to wear to my
mother’s funeral.
I search the racks
for the correct.
The sober.
The dress
that shows
respect.

How can I choose
what to wear for you
when you’re not here
to give me that look?
What would you want
for this public tribute?
I know you don’t
want to talk about it.
So we don’t.

In the end
I make my wildly
inappropriate
choice and feel
a secret glee
because I hope
that you would
think it was
too much.

My final rebellion.


Comments

  1. I much prefer colorful clothes for funerals.

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  2. Now you've got me thinking about how I would go about choosing what I wear when my Mom dies. Not that this is about me, the poem is about you and your Mom. So instead of pondering fashion choices I'll send you a hug. Hope you're getting some mileage out of that dress...

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  3. What a lovely poem and dress. I'm sure your Mom would have loved them both.

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  4. That? Is awesome. I spoke at my dad's funeral and it was interesting the way things bounced between what was "appropriate" and what was "right" in terms of the planning and actual service. I do think my dad would have been pleased with the final result.

    It's a great dress and something I would much want to see.

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  5. I love this tribute to your mother, Dana. My condolences on your loss. When each of my parents passed, it was amazing to see how the tone of their funerals/wakes took on an ambience of their unique personalities.

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  6. I love this tribute to your mother, Dana. My condolences on your loss. When each of my parents passed, it was amazing to see how the tone of their funerals/wakes took on an ambience of their unique personalities.

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  7. I love it all...the poem, the dress and the man at your side.

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  8. Wonderful read, in so many different ways. I'm impressed by the final rebellion, and I love the dress!

    Can I be nosy? Why did you marry a giant?

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  9. I love the hat and dress and poem. I am sure your Mom did also!

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  10. a fine and fitting rebellion!
    love the dress, suits you well

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  11. Read every word with a huge smile on my face ... this is the perfect tribute to Mom!

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  12. Yup I can relate- great choice! I did a similar thing... although with my Dad I was more somber- Thanks.

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  13. When I saw you in your dress, so vibrant, I felt like cheering for you. Your poem said a whole book about your mother and you. You are blooming.

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  14. The dress you chose surely shows you were celebrating your Mother's life. Bet she's secretly smiling for you!

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  15. I've been at a few funerals recently where they've applauded the coffin out of the church. I think its brilliant.

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  16. I love the rebellion and the shared secret of this. The poem is really good, Dana.

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  17. You have to do what ya feel is right!Like in a poem!

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